Jiggle in the Middle

Now that I am back into the grove of life and the postpartum fog has lifted, the weight of failed breastfeeding and carrying that beloved and immensely loathed black pumping bag has lifted a bit (I now pump just three times a day) I have started to shift my focus back to my own health and eating habits. Many of you walked with me towards my goal of losing weight in 2012. I got within seven pounds of my goal weight by the end of 2012. SEVEN POUNDS AWAY. And I was five months pregnant by that time. Not too shabby. With all the water weight gain from pre-eclampsia, I swelled up to an astounding 204 pounds. (Uh, ick) However, all of that was lost the first week or so post-baby. I was back in the lower one-sixties and loving life. I even took this lovely photo and sent to my sisters:

I snapped that quick photo on April 28, 2013. I looked good. Sure I had a belly, I just "had" a baby. And by had I mean, a baby was cut out of there twenty days before this picture was taken. I'm gonna call this one a win. Also, disregard the pillows in the background, I was changing out the old for the new! 

Ya'll know how the whole breastfeeding thing went so I'll skip over most of that. I put losing weight on hold. I needed to keep my precarious milk situation up and that meant calories. I have yo-yo'd the past eight months. Getting fat, eating less calories, losing weight, losing milk supply, eating more calories, repeat. Finally I shelved the weight issue and let things fall where they laid. 

Now it's time to blow the dust off the shelf and pick up where I left off. This time, I am much more acutely aware of every pound on my body. I can feel the heaviness when I breathe, my lungs work harder. I can feel the chub on my face, I wince at every jiggle in my middle. 

Last time I was all about changing habits. Being a more well-rounded, healthy person in general. Not. This. Time. 

This time I am aching for fast results. I want to shed this weight and I want it gone yesterday. I want to lose it in a healthy way, sure, but this time I'm going to attack it with more than just limiting my portions and eating healthier meals. 

I'm throwing in a healthy dose of yoga, walks and other physical activities. I went to yoga on Monday and for the first time in a long time I was excited to work out, not dreading it. I mentally called to my muscles to awaken from their too long slumber. I could feel the hum of my body, ready to stretch and to feel something. It is hard to explain but it was glorious. I definitely had to fold into child's pose a few times and I'm perfectly okay with that. I'm not trying to go balls to the wall and permanently injure myself. I want to find the right pace with my body and grow my activity level with it. 

My new goal is to lose at least twenty pounds by June 1. That's five pounds a month. If I'm super strict, I could potentially lose up to thirty-four pounds by June 1. I'm not going to shoot for that because I want to be realistic and I know the last ten pounds are a sucker to come off. Twenty is a good goal and if I exceed that then kudos to me. Plus, ice cream.

If you are local and want to work out with me, I am in need of gym buddies!