Ham Sandwich

Last night, I did something I thought would never be done. I thought it would never be done because some may call me (read: I call myself) the master of procrastination and/or evasion. Because, here is the deal. I didn't WANT to do this. It is tedious, time consuming and while the end results in a feeling of a heavy boulder lifting off of my shoulders, I still stayed away. I'm smart.

Last night, I labeled, sorted and filed a crapload of papers. (I just added crapload into my dictionary. So it IS a word. Sucka.) Specifically, I went through that box of papers I blogged about a few weeks ago. Yeah. The one I kept pretending wasn't there? I finally went through it.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

After successfully pretending this box of papers didn't exist for eight months, I finally faced it. Wow. I'd give myself major kudos if it wasn't so pathetic that it took eight months for me to get organized.

Bryan and I were prepping for doing our taxes tonight. Which snowballed into, "WHERE IS THAT RECEIPT FROM THAT THING WE DID TO THE HOUSE?" That was me. Then Bryan would be like, "I like pineapples." or some equally random statement that had nothing to do with the task at hand.

Then I would turned into a green Godzilla-like monster and growl something about him being unhelpful and the last thing I needed was for him to be difficult and WHERE WAS THE RECEIPT?

So, then he'd tell me to stop being a martyr and that he WAS helping and then start rambling on about unicorns that wear plaid button-up shirts or something equally helpful and on point.

What I am trying to say, is that we had a great night.

Anyways, prepping for tax night was why I had to go through all those papers. Actually, no. Untrue. I had to go through all those papers because I couldn't find those receipts. Had there not been a necessity to find those receipts, well, the box wouldn't probably still be invisible to me. I fought the box and the box won. Or something like that.

And before a certain family member of mine comments,  I am aware that if I was organized during the year, I wouldn't be turning into a green Godzilla-like monster and pulling my hair out and generally scaring everyone except my husband who is immune to me.

I'm working on it. Thanks.

Anywho... I'm pretty sure that I have everything I need for my taxes. And if not, oh well. I'll work with what I got and there is that.

On a entirely unrelated note, I permed my hair. I am aware that the word perm is scary and images of the mid 1980s to 1990s come to ones mind when it is uttered. Fortunately, on me, its more like a body wave and it's cute except that I don't know how to actually style my hair.... which is a problem.

Another problem, is that whenever I YouTube videos about how to style your curly locks, well, videos of black women come up. Obviously, this is not a problem in general, but it is a problem for me seeing as I am not black, and my hair is radically different from their hair.

All this to say that, I'm having maturity and hair issues. What can I say? I'm a work in progress.

What you might be wondering is why the title of this post is Ham Sandwich. There is no other reason that that is what I had for lunch today and it was the first thing I thought of when I put my cursor there. I'm black and white that way.

Err... pun not intended.

Today?

I miss my Dad.

That's all.

Hi.

I feel like it's more often than not that I assure my readers (aka: my mom and sister) that I am not yet dead. However, they already are aware of this so I'll skip it.

Where have I been?

Inspirationless. Is that a word? I don't think so. I went through that bout of depression that I have blogged about and while the fog is lifting I haven't gotten any type of drive back. No fire. My bum is fireless.

I am, however, at a point where I don't want to spend money. I don't want to shop for clothes, I don't want to shop for food, I don't want to buy household items, I don't want to decorate. All of that is good for the bank account. Except for the food part, because when you don't buy groceries, you don't make things. When you don't make things, you buy town food.

When we were little, we rarely ate fast food. I remember when McDonald's had their Wednesday night $.59 hamburgers, we'd get them and they were the best. ever. If we would get Taco Bell on a Friday night before watching TGIF, we were allowed one "special item" and a regular taco.  Or we would just get the ten pack of tacos and each of us would get two. Oh! When we would go to Tulare, sometimes my Mom would let us stop for french fries and a drink. It was the best treat. My point, is that we rarely ate this type of food and when we did it was called town food. People make fun of me to this day because I still call it town food. It is food - from town. Hence, town food.

End of random tangent.

When you buy town food... you get fat.

Good news is that I have lost weight! Probably because I was deathly ill and missed an almost full week of work. That contributes to why I haven't blogged. But I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty positive that even if I HAD been healthy... I wouldn't have blogged.

I have to put living my life first, because if I don't, what will have to write on here?

I am most certainly not witty enough to carry this blog without real life substance behind it. I'm okay with being honest about that. Sometimes, I won't be blogging because I will be living... and then after I've had enough living, I'll blog. And I have to let myself be okay with that. It's hard though because I feel guilty.

Not because I think that any one actually reads my little slice of the interweb, but because I know how important it is for me to write.

Dumb. It's all dumb. The feelings I have about this blog are not rational. It is what it is and I'll write when I write. If there is anyone out there, other than my family, thanks for sticking with me....

This is worth it all.

Finding this one deal is worth all the times I leave empty handed.