Friday, May 8, 2015

50 Days

School is almost over. I have 50 more days until the Culminating Event.

This has been hard. Really hard. Especially with Bryan being gone most nights, especially working full time and having a toddler. I knew it would be hard. Now that it's close to the end? It's somehow getting simultaneously better and worse. I'm so close to sweet freedom. To having my nights and weekends back. To seeing friends. To seeing family.

Mixed in with school has just been life. I'm managing to live one while juggling everything else, which is a surprising to most, including myself. Lots of changes are on the horizon which, instead of filling me with anxiety, is bringing about a peace. I don't know how any of these things will work out, but in this moment as I type, I feel peace. I feel hope.

One important thing I've been doing outside of work/school/everything else has been putting what resources I can into fighting Senate Bill 277. I'm going to be working on a separate post regarding this bill and what it means for parents.

The last time I posted was in March. What have you missed since March? I'll look at my photos to see....

We had an impromptu dinner at Harris Ranch right before my sister Kari's birthday.

I joined Snapchat.

I went to LA to visit my home-girl Denise....

And attend The Makeup Show - where I increased my makeup skills and spent waaaay to much money. 



We took a fantastic family photo right before the Easter Campout (in which Bryan looks amazing... ;) )

We didn't make it to my Grandma's for Easter so we went the day after.

And there is MUCH more to tell you about. But at least you are caught up to April. I'm not holding myself to blogging with any kind of regularity over the next 50 days BUT after that? I'm coming out swinging. I have lots of plans for this blog that I have been working on even though I haven't been blogging. I know it's been quiet on the front end but I've still been cooking up some fun ideas for the future. 

Until then, I created a Facebook page! Just search Embrace the Crazy and you'll find me. 



Monday, March 9, 2015

Facts About Us!

A few weeks ago Bryan and I filmed an impromptu video and I finally edited! Sorry things have been quiet. It's my life right now. Enjoy!

Monday, March 2, 2015

Leopard Pajamas

I'm sitting on my bed with wet hair. I got out of the shower about ten minutes ago and do not feel up to brushing it or securing it in a bun. My hair is just sitting on my right shoulder, soaking the long-sleeved, black-and-white leopard (I googled it to make sure it wasn't cheetah) shirt. I'm also wearing the matching pants. I look like a big, fat, sad black and white leopard.

 I'm listening to my Clarensau radio station that is now playing John Mayer. If you are wondering, 'Your Body is A Wonderland' is playing. The live version. I hope it is stuck in your head for the next week because I'm sure it'll be stuck in mine. Misery loves company.

Speaking of miserable, I'm sick. I've got that bug that is going around and it's uncomfortable and stupid. I spent the day doing finances, meal-planning (to get healthy and lose weight) and meal-prepping (to get healthy and lose weight) and we ended up having take-out pasta for dinner. Turns out it takes a while to go to three different grocery stores, come home, unload and put it away, chop and peel and a myriad of other cooking verbs to prep. I also broke another rule, eating after 7:00pm. You know, you lose a lot of weight just by telling yourself no more food after 7. I have a soup going and I "cooked" some Tilapia. Cooked is in quotations because they were really small pieces and I meant to only cook them for 7-10 minutes but I didn't hear the timer go off so they are extremely well done. At this point, I'm wondering if they are edible. I guess I'll find out.

This weekend was pitiful and I feel pitiful. I get all mopey when I'm sick. Why me and all that. It doesn't help that I hate Bryan right now, so you know how that goes. You know, people don't talk much about when they hate their spouse. I mean, they'll post on Facebook or Instagram when their spouse does something sweet but it's rare that they are like, Dude. I could just PUNCH my spouse right now. Don't act like you never feel that way, if you have a significant other. I think there is something fundamentally wrong with you if you never hate your spouse. I equate it, in my mind, to having siblings.

It's like, when you just get so ding-dang frustrated with them that you could just hide their favorite pair of jeans and smirk as they tear apart the bedroom looking for them? But you still love them. But you also hate them. Does this make sense? I'm not trying to say that Bryan is a bad guy cause he isn't. He didn't even do anything to deserve me hating him today. He's a great guy. But he can be such a douche-copter without even trying. So can I. Real love is living with a douche-copter and thinking, man I hate that guy, but he's my guy to hate.

You know who does not belong on my Clarensau and John Mayer Pandora Station? MILEY CYRUS. There is a time and place for her and this. isn't. it.


Anyways, I love Bryan. Poor guy is coming down with the same stuff that Shep got, and then I caught, and he had to do TWO three hour gigs yesterday. Ugh, that has to be hard. Today he just wanted to lay around and not do anything. Understandable. But, laundry still has to get done, groceries need to be bought and life must go on. All too often the two of us just don't do that life stuff. We certainly don't like doing life together. Which is fine. But we are always on opposite schedules. Our life is opposite each other.

I get tired of the struggle.

I am tired of the struggle.

Tomorrow is a new day and all this will be washed away. Tomorrow, I'll be grateful for the work I did today. Tonight, I'll just listen to soft music and brush my hair.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Life is Made of Days Like This

Sorry, I haven't been around this week. Now that a negotiations paper is done and a facilities paper is almost done, I have time to catch ya'll up on my life over the past two weeks. On February 9, it was some holiday. A presidents birthday. I don't know which but believe that I appreciate his birth. Cause day off. Duh. 

First, I was going to hit up the Monday sale with Jamie, a cousin from Bryan's side of the family. Bryan had band practice with the guys and Shep and I were on our own. The plan, at first, was to take Shepherd and Isaac but then we realized that they would be hard to wrangle. I got ready as quickly as I could, got Shepherd ready and grabbed all of our stuff to load into the car. Except I couldn't find the keys. 

Bryan took them to Fresno. I was so ticked. I called and it was looking as though I was going to have to bow out of my plans with Jamie to wait for stupid Bryan to turn his stupid truck about to bring me the stupid keys. I tell Jamie that we probably can't go and she got mad and came to pick us up. We dropped Shepherd with Troy and went on our way. 

It turned out to be the best day I've had in a long while. 

We walked around, I bought some L.A. Girl makeup (don't worry, I googled, it was legit.) and ate some tacos. It was AWESOME. 

I have always wanted the second holes done on my ears but never pulled the trigger. I didn't do my makeup because I had hoped to film that day, but alas, it never worked out. Too bad I didn't foresee that because it would nice to not look haggard when I look back at these pictures, but this is real life, yo! Jennifer is the one that pierced our ears and she was really sweet and did a great job!

Then, to celebrate, Jamie bought me a pretzel! I haven't had one of these in forever and it was so dang delicious! 

We also got a drink and frito/nacho boat from Minnah's Cafe, which was not bad. I'm not a huge fan of nacho cheese. I like regular shredded cheese on chips. It's the way it ought to be!

Jamie's boyfriend Troy asked that we bring home food, so we stopped at Geta Express to grab him some food. He deserved it for watching both boys for most of the day! He sent text updates as the day went on AND  he got Shepherd to eat lots of healthy food. Love that guy. Shepherd even fell asleep on Troy! It was so cute. 

It was an amazing, fun and lowkey day. It almost felt like we were young and free again. It was so nice to have a taste of that again. And I LOVE my earrings. Glad I finally got it done. Thank you to my niece Kyndall for inspiring me to get it done.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

A Double Eye Infection

I'm writing to you from home today because I have a double eye infection. The worst part is that anything I used on my eyes (makeup wise) has to be thrown out. No, I guess the worst part is feeling like I have sandpaper in my eyes. The second worse part is the makeup thing.

Of course on the day that I have a conference in Fresno and just a busy, homework rich week I'm struck down with some insane eye thing. I got up early this morning and was at the walk in clinic when it opened. I was the second patient seen and the nurse practitioner said that "this" has been going around.

He never said what "this" was. Bryan went to get me a couple movies, a coffee and some disinfecting wipes and most importantly, the eyedrops. Two drops every four hours for seven days. There are two bottles.

Have I ever mentioned that I hate putting stuff in my eyes? Like, legitimately loathe anything going near my eye. I am supposed to wear glasses but the last prescription I have was before I was pregnant and when I wear them I feel jacked up. But I don't want to go to the eye doctor because it's always a fight. I won't let him dilate my eyes. Once, they made me do that blowing air test and the first time, I didn't know what to expect. The second time I winced while having a major inner meltdown. They tried to do the right eye twice and I walked out.

I ended up getting a migraine from that experience.

My eyes have always and will always be super sensitive. I don't like anything touching my eyeball. Ever. When I tightline my eyes with eye liner, I gently lift the lid away from the eyeball so that it never, ever, ever touches. I don't even like my own fingers to touch my eyeball. So 1. I don't know how this eye infection happened because I never touch my eyeball and 2. this is absolutely torture.

Towards the end of the day I have to wash all my bedding, especially my pillow cases and my towels/wash cloths. I'm contagious for about 24 hours, but he said that it's only if I touch my eyes and then touch someone else. Which I don't do anyways.

I have to be at work tomorrow so I'm just going to go in and wipe down my desk, work, wipe it down again and leave. Ugh. I just remembered that I have chinese food in the fridge that I wanted to lunch today. Gosh DARN IT. Stupid eyes.

Oh! And did I mention that although my body feels fine and my mind is sharp, my eyes are so sensitive that watching too much TV/YouTube/Reading/Anything starts to make my head hurt. I've spent most of my morning just lying in bed with my eyes closed thinking about life.

Do you want to know the WORST THING you can do to someone that has anxiety and depression? Corner them in a room and give them absolutely nothing else to do but think. They'll be mad in no time.

Happy Hump Day!

PS. My sister made me go to a hybrid pilates/yoga class yesterday and I am also sore. I'm happy to have worked out but wish it wasn't followed by cabin fever in my bedroom. Hate you, Kari! (Love you too, though!)

Monday, February 9, 2015

All Aboard the SofaBoat!

Turning our two couches into a SofaBoat has been a tradition in our family since we became one. Bryan and I would push the two couches together when we were first married. We'd cuddle up to lounge and watch movies. It is one of our favorite family things to do. Adding Shepherd to the mix makes it even better. 

Bryan and I have largely opposite schedules so spending family time together is rare, let alone having much alone chill time. On Saturday night, Papa and Lee asked if Shepherd could spend the night with them and we figured he's old enough to enjoy the experience. Plus, Shepherd in the morning is something everyone should experience. His morning cuddles are the best. So, we decided now was as good a time as any and it was good that we were in the same town for his first night away from us! 

As you can see, he was pretty excited to go! Oh, did I mention that this was the first night that Bryan and I have both slept away from him? We had planned on my going to go out to Harris Ranch with Bryan for his gig and to spend the night, but after that huge school project, I just wasn't up for it. So, unbeknownst to Bryan, I planned a low-key night at home! 

I moved the couches (all by myself) to SofaBoat position, rented Get On Up from Redbox, and laid out our favorite pajamas. I went to Target to pick up some of our favorite movie theater candy and threw a cozy blanket down. I wanted a really cozy atmosphere so I lit some PartyLite tealights. I think Bryan was pretty surprised when he walked in! I even set up two ottomans, one to help getting into the SofaBoat and one to hold coffee/remotes. :) 

Of course we made sure the SofaBoat was still together for Shepherd once we picked him up from Papa and Lee. He loves it. Actually, it's still together. As I write this, we are all chilling in the boat. Well, not Shepherd he's climbing all over Bryan. We love SofaBoat!

We loved the movie and didn't end up getting into any of the snacks. We spent time working in the studio and Bryan built my sewing table! I'm so excited to learn to sew. You know, in-between school, work, mom-ing/wife-ing, the blog, Lauriana Cosmetics, LC's blog, and various video projects. :) 

Hope you had a great weekend! 

Friday, February 6, 2015

Checking In

I'm drowning in a 80 page paper soooo....

Have a good weekend and have a drink on my behalf!