Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Moving On...

It is always hard after a break up. I was just telling Alison today that I've been doing well, but that since a large part of my day is gone, I am feeling a huge void.

If that wasn't bad enough, I've been having some self esteem issues because of this. If Michael hadn't chosen to do what he did in the apartment, we wouldn't be here. But, that is what he chose, and it was his right. I can't change it.

I also can't help but wonder why I wasn't enough for him to decide to not smoke. The one thing that he knew I couldn't stand, he did anyways. I wasn't mad at him for getting impossibly drunk. I wouldn't have even been mad if he had passed out from his drinking. But what he did in the apartment was enough for me to walk away without hesitation. He knew that about me. I never made it a secret...but he chose to do it. I guess that is the thing that hurts the most.

Back to the void, I've been trying to fill it with good things. I've been working out, bring work home with me, staying a bit more focused at work (well, most of the time) and doing things around the house. It also has required a LOT of music, which is never a bad thing. :)

Every day is getting easier. I'm pretty blessed to have the family and friends that I do. They always seem to rally around me at the best times. I love them very, very much.

Oh! Denise just reminded me that Prina is coming down for the weekend, so now I really have something to look forward too. I think us girls are going to go out dancing. A proven way to get over a broken heart? GIRL TIME!



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