Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Its poor form to post a blog like I did and not follow up within a few days but I've been busy. Frankly, I just haven't had much heart to post anything about my personal life.

I have slept! Thank God, because I am so grumpy when I don't sleep. I left work early on Friday because I kept nodding off. Denise was getting her car worked on and I had to drive her back to her work, but right after that I went home and got in bed. I couldn't fall asleep. As soon as I did, my sister, Kari, called. It would be my luck, but she wanted to offer me some bath time in her awesome huge tub and I was appreciative of the gesture. I tried falling back asleep after that and couldn't. I finally got myself up and went to pick Denise up from work and take her back to the shop to get her car.

I've been asked why I haven't been able to sleep and I have no clue. I don't know if it was an overactive mind, or that fact that I got in a fight with a friend that I care very much about (over something very minimal but hormones played into it) and I hate to think that is what made me sleepless because that means I care way, way more than I previously thought I did... which is a good and bad thing.

Luckily, I kept myself very, very busy for the rest of the day on Friday and ended up sleeping solidly from 11:30pm to 10:30am. Yay! Grumpy Megan was out and Happy Megan was in!

I had a pretty chill weekend, hanging out with friends and what not. Church was very good and one of the ladies that helps with the Children's Ministry asked if I could be an adult supervisor for the next three weeks in the classroom, so I agreed. I have that to look forward to this weekend!

Unluckily, my car has been acting up and I'm not happy about it one bit. I'm trying to keep my patience with Skeeter but I found myself yelling at her a couple of times. (Her name is Margaret, but her nickname is Skeeter and she is a VW New Beetle.)

Now, back to comment about the lack of blogging about my personal life.

When I started this blog, I wanted it to be an outlet for me. I'm shy... and if you know me, like really know me, you are probably thinking, there is NO way she is shy. For those of you are thinking this I must remind you that yes, in fact I am shy, just not around you! :)

For those of you that don't know me and have met me in person, please don't take my awkwardness and silence as "I'm too good to talk with you." It's more of "I'm super shy and am scared to let you know my goofiness cause you might just think I'm a crazy person."

Everyone has their fears and mine is rejection. (I can't believe I wrote that.) So, I keep people at bay until I can trust that they won't run for the hills when they see that I am human, that parts of me are weak and parts are strong...and parts are downright nerdy. Some mistake this as me being stuck up, but I assure you that I am not. I like people. I like talking to people. I like meeting new people.. I just have a hard time with making the first move.

Anyway, in my last relationship I opened up quite a bit and I blogged about my feelings, thoughts, and fears. I tried to be as open and honest as I could and it kinda sorta blew up in my face.

Needless to say, I've been scared to write about my relationships with other people (male or female) because I don't want the same thing to happen.

Then, a bunch of people start commenting about how honest I am in my blog and they love it... What topped it off was that I logged in to Facebook and had a message from someone I was never close with in high school who said things that seriously made me tear up. Her support about my honestly really helped me to WANT to blog again and to be open in my blog.

After praying about it another day, I really feel like this blog is important for me in this time of my life. I feel called to write about my life and if it helps just ONE person to understand they are not alone, it is worth it.

The floodgates have been opened and I am BACK!

I hope that you will stay with me as I try to wade through the waters that is my life.


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