Life is a Process...

There have been multiple times over the past few weeks that I've opened up Blogger, hit the New Post button and just stared.

I suppose I would freeze because there are so many things I could write about. So many different words to type.

I could write about a friendship that was damaged and now just hangs in a weird limbo. With neither one of us doing anything about it and it seems like we don't want too. Words were said and there was a lack of reaction on a huge event in my life and I'm just not sure where to go from here. So, I'm going no where.

I could write about losing my dog, the dog I loved and cared for since I was 19. I could write about the terrible night he was hit by a car. The night I saw my husband cry harder than I've ever seen him cry before. The night that I watched my husband dig a hole, where he placed my dog, and then covered it. I suppose I could write about that.

Or, I could write about how just a week or two before all this happened, I found out I was pregnant. Even though I had been told that it would be 'very difficult' for me to have a child, that doing so without medical intervention would be "entirely unlikely", after almost three years of not preventing it, God blessed me with this tiny, little miracle. I could write that I'm stunned, honored and scared. I'm equal parts excited and terrified.

I could write that just a week before I found out I was pregnant, my husband lost his job. In one fell swoop, I became the main bread-winner and a mom, lost my dog, and mourned a damaged - maybe beyond repair -  friendship.

Yes... I suppose I could write about any one of those things. But considering that each event is heavy on its own, I guess I can't blame myself for not wanting to rehash it all in writing. I guess I'm just still processing it all.