Thursday, August 4, 2011

Audits and Things

We've had the auditors at work the past few days so I've been brain-dead by the time I get home. I've had enough juice to get to the gym twice and that's about it. In lieu of a real quality post, I'm gonna answer some questions from a questionnaire that I read about on Grass Stains.

Here we go!

When was the last time you tried something new?
Last night. I went to a class at my gym called R.I.P.P.E.D. It said it was for all levels. IT WASN'T. It was for people that can lift weights and do many reps of fast paced lunges and jump - while breathing. 

I liked it. But I'm not 'there' yet. I need to gain some endurance - but I'll go back. Probably in a few weeks.

Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?
Oh golly, I find that I subconsciously compare myself to everyone. To Bryan, to Denise, to my sisters, anyone that I come in contact with. Wondering if I should live/write/work/love/pray/decorate/create like they do. Wondering if there is something wrong with me because I don't live/write/work/love/pray/decorate/create like they do. And then I just kind of shrug my shoulders because I'm doin' alright. :)

What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?
Hmm. I've heard lots of sensible things in my life. I wrote about how Sherry from Young House Love said that instead of being paralyzed by indecision to just try something - then you'll figure out if you like it or not. That's pretty sensible. It's one of those things you should know and yet when someone says it a light bulb goes off. 

What gets you excited about life?
Man, I suck SO HARD when it comes to life. I am perpetually looking to the next thing. There is this never-ending dialogue going on where I am never satisfied with where I am, what I am doing, what I just finished. I'm always like, okay whats next? What's coming? Where am I going? With all of the rumbling in my head its hard to get excited about anything! And more often than not I get depressed or worried or stressed out. I'm working on it. I'm trying really hard to LIVE. And I'm excited about that.

What life lesson did you learn the hard way?
Ew. I learned so many lessons the hard way. I grew up fast. Too, too fast. I had a hard childhood that pulled the rose colored glasses from my eyes way to quickly. I saw a lot of ugliness and not nearly enough beauty. It was hard. I believe that part of why I am the way I am (detailed in the previous question, a bit) is because while growing up, I was wait-wait-waiting. Waiting for the ball to drop. Waiting for a savior. Waiting for things to get better. Always latching on to the next thing that could get me through the present.  Yuck. I am going to try to keep my kids kids. I want them to be safe, warm and innocent for as long as I can hold it together. And I hope I give them enough of a foundation to learn less things the hard way. 

What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?
Five years ago I was in a stand still in my life. I had made the huge mistake of moving in with my boyfriend and his father in a city where I had zero support system. I was hiding in New Hampshire with my lovely sister, her husband, and my beautiful niece. I spent quality time with them, made memories with my niece that I will treasure forever and ever. I recouped and cried and got my life together. Sometimes I wish I could go back and pause that moment. I wish I had stayed longer. I could've. But I was in SUCH A DING DANG HURRY to get a job. What an idiot. 

Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?
There are somethings that I don't question. Either because I feel like I have sufficient knowledge of it or because I plumb don't want to know! (Like, about drugs. I'm watching Weeds right now and it can be a tad uncomfortable. Haha) But I like questions. I ask them often. I want to know more. I try to learn new things. I want to learn electrical wiring but I'm freaking terrified. So, I keep pushing that back. On average, I learn, I read, I adapt. It feels good to learn. I wish I had felt that way in school though. ;)

Alrighty! That's all I have for ya. I speed typed this on my lunch so pardon the errors. 



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