Friday, June 26, 2009

If My Life Was A Movie...Baby, I'd Be A Star!

In order for you to understand today, I have to rewind you to yesterday.

Yesterday, after I worked all day, I went to Tom and Amy's and paid a RIDICULOUS amount of money for gas and if you purchase a car wash when you fill up your tank, you get a Whole Dollar off of your wash. Hooray! So, I did just that.

I set the pump to the fastest level and waited. From the corner of my eye, I see someone approaching me. Being a woman, I always get a little tense, especially since I have been ogled and hit on many times at this gas station. (But I like the owners a lot so I put up with it.) Well, I glance and its this guy that works in the store and he's coming at me waving his arms and flailing about and speaking (YELLING) his native tongue (Japanese? Chinese? Hmong? I'm not sure.) I look around me to see if he's yelling at me and of course, there is no one at the other side of the pump.

Immediately my mind is racing, okay, I didn't get into my car so there shouldn't be static build up. I am currently not on my phone or texting so he's not yelling at me about that.. I had no clue what I was doing wrong, so quickly I turned to grab the squeegee to wash my front windshield. In doing so, I pass him on the way to the front of the car and he hardly notices me. I watch as he gets his key out (all the while still yelling) and he unlocks the receipt part. He then turns to me and says, "Damn receipt paper. Always get stuck. Hour, hour. Minute, minute. THIRD TIME TODAY. You get receipt in store." He turns away from me and starts fiddling with the paper. I finished my washing of the windshield, put the pump back and walked into the store to get my receipt - which was imperative because that's how I would get my car wash code. It's printed on the receipt.

I'm trying so hard not to laugh because the guy was hilarious, I get my receipt, climb into Skeeter and go to the car wash port. I type in my code and start to drive in when I slam on my brakes because Something Swoops Down and Tries To Kill Me millions of pigeons swarm at the sound of the buzzer and one poops on my FRESHLY CLEANED WINDOW. My first reaction was surprise, then annoyance, and then I laugh. Of COURSE there are pigeons in the car wash. It's like an insurance policy for the gas station. Pay for Car Wash. Pigeon Poops on Car. Pay for Car Wash. It's an Endless Cycle.

So, I go through the car wash, praying a bird doesn't get caught on the brushes and I sing to Taylor Swift. No harm, no foul. But this put me in quite a good mood, which set up the rest of the night.

I went home, got ready as quickly as possible and then went to my sisters house who has started up a weekly Women's Group and last night was the first meeting. It was just a few girls and we got to know each other a little bit and set down what we'll be reading on what day of the week at what time. I was really excited to get involved, but unfortunately the day they are meeting are Thursdays.. Thursdays are Really Bad Days for me. So I'll attend when I can but it won't be often and I'm sad. Hopefully someone else will start a group on like Tuesdays because I would be first in line to sign up.

After everyone left, Kari and one of the girls were outside talking, so I let in Gunther so I could hang out. This is Gunther:

Yeah I know, irresistible right? So Gunther and I decide to Wreak Havoc on Kari's clean and lovely house. We chased each other EVERY WHERE... all over his wonderful bone, that looks like a cigar hanging from his mouth. Its adorable. We did this for a good 15-20 minutes and at the end, Gunther was breathing much like I was. Hard and fast. We finally conceded that he could have the bone and we cuddled on the couch for a bit to catch our breaths, then I left.

I went home, went to sleep. Slept.

Now, on to the REAL story.

This morning, the first thing I noticed was not the birds singing outside my window, or how my dog was curled up so sweetly next to me. No. The first thing I noticed was that my Butt was SO SORE. I climbed out of bed feeling like I worked out like a crazy person the night before. But I didn't work out. Why I am sore? IT COULDN'T BE BECAUSE I WAS RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES IN KARI'S HOUSE CHASING A DOG RIGHT? I had to do something else yesterday... Lunges? Run 10,000 miles? It couldn't be. It couldn't. It WAS. How very sad. So I walked into the bathroom and looked at my self in the mirror to assess the damage to my hair and with all seriousness, I looked like a early 80s pop star gone wrong. Terribly Wrong. My bangs were standing straight up, my hair was fuzzy and crazy and I forgot to wash off my eye make up so I had black all around by eyes. All I needed was a leather jacket and a cigarette dangling and you'd think I transported through time.

I repaired the damage (with my hair actually looking cute today...and no I didn't put it up in a crap ball, thank you very much.) And then I got excited. Today is Friday. Friday is half day. More importantly... Friday is Coffee Day!!! My morning routine gets a whole lot faster. I'm speeding around trying to get everything done as quickly as possible so that I can finally hold my Tall, Hot, White Mocha with Vanilla from Java Heaven. I couldn't wait!

So, the last finishing touches: Get Dressed; Put on Deodorant; Put on Jewelry; Spray Perfume; Grab purse; Leave.

All of those were standard... except for the deodorant. I have just developed ANOTHER allergy to the ONLY deodorant I have been able to use for years. *tear* After posting this on Facebook, Kari says she just bough a two pack and that I could try it to see if I liked it or if it destroyed my skin. I stood there... looking at my previously deodorant with disdain. How could you fail me? How could you? After all these years of searching. Why? Then I looked at the new stick of deodorant.. I suddenly went to a dark place. Which is worse? Putting on my old deodorant and dealing with the eating-my-flesh burning sensation or trying this new, SCENTED deodorant and possibly having a more severe reaction? I almost chickened out. Almost. Coffee pulled me through. I grabbed the new deodorant in a rush to get done, out and to Java Heaven when I came across a whole new problem. I, not for my life of me, could not take off the little plastic thingy that is glued to the inside used to keep the deodorant from drying out.

Finally, I used my teeth. I know. Don't judge me. So I put it on, half expecting my skin to sizzle off, but nothing happened. I put the top back on, set it down and went to my perfume. When I lifted my arm I stopped. I could smell it. I can SMELL the deodorant. Is that supposed to happen? Am I the only one that can smell it? WHO would think this was a better alternative. (Ugh, I can smell it right now.) I started to freak out. I don't like smells. Harsh smells give me migraines. I do not like migraines. I quickly recovered, sprayed the perfume and walked out side. As I was backing out of the garage, I turned to go right... and I smelled it. AGAIN. I'm freaking out, man! I literally had to talk myself into calming down and kept focusing on getting a coffee.

I suppose I was focusing really hard which is why I missed my turn. I had to make a U-turn just to go back to the coffee shop. And of course I did it. The thought would never have crossed my mind to just continue to work. No sirree. I wanted that coffee. Needed it.

Is it bad when I roll down my window and the woman at the drive through says, "Would you like your usual?" or is it good? Because I consider it a wonderful thing. "Why yes, I would!" and that's it. She went off to make it (I love when this girl makes it. It's the best) and that was that.

In a much, much better mood after getting my coffee with the decadent chocolate covered coffee bean on the top, I puttered off to work, leaving my window down. I got on the main road, went a steady speed of 60mph, when all of a sudden I am Viciously Attacked by a receipt gone awry! Mind you, I jacked my wrist up so right now, I'm wearing a wrist support to keep it straight, which unfortunately gives me limited movement in my hand. I am also driving with this hand because I cannot hold my coffee in it. My coffee is being held in my right hand.

Sooo... I had no tools to fight this demon receipt! I can only imagine if someone actually saw me this morning in my car. Frantically switching between waving my arms to stop the receipt from getting my face and trying to keep the car straight.

Other than all that craziness, I received great news today! Katie has been having some issues with Zac and things seem to be moving in her favor. Praise God! For those of you that are already praying, please keeping doing so.

Until next time!


  1. I didn't like the smell either... that was my main issue with the deoderant.... did i not mention that? :)


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