Things Aren't Always Level

After a few months weeks of downtime I finally have something to blog about. Can ya believe it? I can't. I honestly just lost my passion. I'm frustrated with my weird living room. I'm frustrated by my weird pieced together furniture. I know what I want my house to look like, but doing it myself and having the money to do it is just plain hard. Don't even ask me about hiring someone to do it. Yikes.

A few weeks ago, Bryan asked me why I hadn't blogged in a while. To which I replied, "I have nothing to say." I want to be like these people. And her. And her too. Funny, witty, charming. A husband and wife duo. A wife that likes to watch her husband build things. Decor savvy. 

Hi. My name is Megan, and I am none of those things. I kind of suck. Not because I think I can't figure out how to do these things, but because I feel like it's going to look weird. Or my vision isn't going to come out right. Or holding a extremely thin shelf and a level at the same time plus marking where I am supposed to drill is way, waaaay beyond my coordination levels. And, my husband says I suck at hammering. Well pooh to him.

I know I've written about this stuff before. And I always have a revelation as to why I should, could and how to get around those problems. Yeah, I got nothing. But I figure that only a few people read this blog and I know most of 'em. I should be able to fail without utter humiliation. If I do suffer some humiliation, well, everyone needs to be brought to their knees, right?

Bryan doesn't like me to try things because I don't know what I'm doing. (He's right.) And if I mess up, I'll have to spend more money to fix it.(Correct, again!) Well, I'll never learn if I don't try. Money is important, but it's not everything. If I have put buying those bookcases on hold or put another project on the back-burner in order to fix a botched mission, so be it. Who cares.

Luckily for you, I had this revelation a few weeks ago. So I've got some projects to show you. All I've gotta do is take pictures. And write posts. 

Here are a few things I've got going on:

-bulletin board make over
-custom buttons
-hat rack
-home organization
-Renovating a kitchen nook
-building a custom office desk
-DIY art

Stick around. Things could get interesting. Or disastrous. 

Ham Sandwich

Last night, I did something I thought would never be done. I thought it would never be done because some may call me (read: I call myself) the master of procrastination and/or evasion. Because, here is the deal. I didn't WANT to do this. It is tedious, time consuming and while the end results in a feeling of a heavy boulder lifting off of my shoulders, I still stayed away. I'm smart.

Last night, I labeled, sorted and filed a crapload of papers. (I just added crapload into my dictionary. So it IS a word. Sucka.) Specifically, I went through that box of papers I blogged about a few weeks ago. Yeah. The one I kept pretending wasn't there? I finally went through it.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

After successfully pretending this box of papers didn't exist for eight months, I finally faced it. Wow. I'd give myself major kudos if it wasn't so pathetic that it took eight months for me to get organized.

Bryan and I were prepping for doing our taxes tonight. Which snowballed into, "WHERE IS THAT RECEIPT FROM THAT THING WE DID TO THE HOUSE?" That was me. Then Bryan would be like, "I like pineapples." or some equally random statement that had nothing to do with the task at hand.

Then I would turned into a green Godzilla-like monster and growl something about him being unhelpful and the last thing I needed was for him to be difficult and WHERE WAS THE RECEIPT?

So, then he'd tell me to stop being a martyr and that he WAS helping and then start rambling on about unicorns that wear plaid button-up shirts or something equally helpful and on point.

What I am trying to say, is that we had a great night.

Anyways, prepping for tax night was why I had to go through all those papers. Actually, no. Untrue. I had to go through all those papers because I couldn't find those receipts. Had there not been a necessity to find those receipts, well, the box wouldn't probably still be invisible to me. I fought the box and the box won. Or something like that.

And before a certain family member of mine comments,  I am aware that if I was organized during the year, I wouldn't be turning into a green Godzilla-like monster and pulling my hair out and generally scaring everyone except my husband who is immune to me.

I'm working on it. Thanks.

Anywho... I'm pretty sure that I have everything I need for my taxes. And if not, oh well. I'll work with what I got and there is that.

On a entirely unrelated note, I permed my hair. I am aware that the word perm is scary and images of the mid 1980s to 1990s come to ones mind when it is uttered. Fortunately, on me, its more like a body wave and it's cute except that I don't know how to actually style my hair.... which is a problem.

Another problem, is that whenever I YouTube videos about how to style your curly locks, well, videos of black women come up. Obviously, this is not a problem in general, but it is a problem for me seeing as I am not black, and my hair is radically different from their hair.

All this to say that, I'm having maturity and hair issues. What can I say? I'm a work in progress.

What you might be wondering is why the title of this post is Ham Sandwich. There is no other reason that that is what I had for lunch today and it was the first thing I thought of when I put my cursor there. I'm black and white that way.

Err... pun not intended.

Today?

I miss my Dad.

That's all.

Hi.

I feel like it's more often than not that I assure my readers (aka: my mom and sister) that I am not yet dead. However, they already are aware of this so I'll skip it.

Where have I been?

Inspirationless. Is that a word? I don't think so. I went through that bout of depression that I have blogged about and while the fog is lifting I haven't gotten any type of drive back. No fire. My bum is fireless.

I am, however, at a point where I don't want to spend money. I don't want to shop for clothes, I don't want to shop for food, I don't want to buy household items, I don't want to decorate. All of that is good for the bank account. Except for the food part, because when you don't buy groceries, you don't make things. When you don't make things, you buy town food.

When we were little, we rarely ate fast food. I remember when McDonald's had their Wednesday night $.59 hamburgers, we'd get them and they were the best. ever. If we would get Taco Bell on a Friday night before watching TGIF, we were allowed one "special item" and a regular taco.  Or we would just get the ten pack of tacos and each of us would get two. Oh! When we would go to Tulare, sometimes my Mom would let us stop for french fries and a drink. It was the best treat. My point, is that we rarely ate this type of food and when we did it was called town food. People make fun of me to this day because I still call it town food. It is food - from town. Hence, town food.

End of random tangent.

When you buy town food... you get fat.

Good news is that I have lost weight! Probably because I was deathly ill and missed an almost full week of work. That contributes to why I haven't blogged. But I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty positive that even if I HAD been healthy... I wouldn't have blogged.

I have to put living my life first, because if I don't, what will have to write on here?

I am most certainly not witty enough to carry this blog without real life substance behind it. I'm okay with being honest about that. Sometimes, I won't be blogging because I will be living... and then after I've had enough living, I'll blog. And I have to let myself be okay with that. It's hard though because I feel guilty.

Not because I think that any one actually reads my little slice of the interweb, but because I know how important it is for me to write.

Dumb. It's all dumb. The feelings I have about this blog are not rational. It is what it is and I'll write when I write. If there is anyone out there, other than my family, thanks for sticking with me....

This is worth it all.

Finding this one deal is worth all the times I leave empty handed.

It's The End.... of February

Well, I'll flat out just say it. I'm discouraged. I have NOT been kicking butt on my weekly goals lately. But, honestly, it hasn't been because I am lazy. I have been doing lots of stuff! Just... not the items on my goals. And did you notice? Where where the goals last week?! And where was my Friday post? I plum FORGOT. For real. So disappointed in myself... Anyways.

Let's review. Here are the goals I set for myself for this week.

Week of February 14, 2011

-Launder Things

-Go through the 2 boxes full of papers

that I pretend don't exist.

-Organize Jewelry

-Steam the master bedroom curtains

-Hang the master bedroom curtains

And the things I accomplished? 

Week of February 14, 2011

-Launder Things

-Go through the 2 boxes full of papers

that I pretend don't exist.

-Organize Jewelry

-Steam the master bedroom curtains

-Hang the master bedroom curtains

SUPER FAIL. Before I give my excuses reasons... I want to give a quick recap of what I DID accomplish the past two weeks - the things that weren't on this list.

Things I DID Do the Week of Feb. 14 and Feb 21

While I was Not Doing The Things Above

-I had an amazing date night for Valentines with my lover.

- I DID laundry. (Duh.)

-I managed to go grocery shopping and cook dinner... A LOT.

-I got sick.

-I went to the gym more often than usual. Except I started getting blisters so I need new shoes.

-I was really, really sore for two days. It hurt to do everything. It also felt amazing.

-I finished reading the Hunger Games. (More on this later.)

-Bryan and I worked on the house. (This too.)

-I managed to wake up early and get myself to work... EARLY.

-We finally bought a filing cabinet so we can get organized!

SEE? Do you see that I wasn't just farting around not accomplishing anything? Because that was not the case. I was LIVING. And while this blog is important to me and I want/need to write, I also need to go easier on myself when I fail. I shouldn't get all anxiety ridden to write that I failed. I'm human. I will fail. 

The only time that I should beat myself up is when I stop trying to accomplish anything. Because you can't have even a modicum of success if you don't try first. I'm proud of the stuff I accomplished. 

Now, back to the things that I (maybe, sorta) should've done the week of February 14 for a quick recap. 

I can now go through all those papers in the two boxes that I pretend don't exist because I have a filing cabinet... woot! I need to launder the curtains before I steam them. Freaking Cali manages to get her drool on everything! Why can't she just keep her tongue in her MOUTH?! She's lucky that she is so, so, so darn cute that she is worth putting up with drool. Plus, if I want a St. Bernard I should get used to it. I need to get a can of spray paint and then the jewelry sorting will commence aaaaand I already asked Bryan to help me with the master bedroom curtains this week and I just know he won't let me down. (Right babe?!) How is that for a quick recap?

This week, I'm going to go light on myself. 

Week of February 28, 2011

-Do the (never-freaking-ending) Laundry.

-Fix that thing you haven't blogged about yet. :)

-Hit the gym four times this week.

-Clean the master bathroom.

I think all of those things speak for themselves... so I'll skip the play-by-play so we can get to  the month end wrap up of my yearly goals. Obviously, the second to-do is vague but you'll see why within the next few days. (Here is the link to last months wrap-up.)

For those of you that have been reading for a while, you know that I have been trying to implement major life changes this year. They are the following:

1. Get fit & get active

2. Challenge my marriage

3. Walk with God

4. Get unpacked and organized

1. Get fit & get active

I have been increasingly getting better and better and getting my butt to the gym. I've recently been looking into another huge lifestyle change, and once a decision has been made, I'll be sure to blog about it. We'll see how it goes! 

2. Challenge my marriage

I recently went through and six week depression and I'm stick working my way out of it. Every day is better. Bryan and I are better than we ever have been, and I think it's only going to get better. We haven't started the Love Dare yet, but that is on the horizon! 

3. Walk with God

Along with regularly attending church, we also have started up a weekly bible study. On top of that, my prayer life has definitely increased, and my amazing mother-in-law gave us a March daily devotional booklet that starts, well, tomorrow! The one thing I really want to work on is getting into my bible more often during the week. I'd like to hit four days a week for at least a half our of reading and God time. 

4. Get unpacked and get organized

I have been working a lot on the way I view my house. I have also been working on putting more love and effort into things, and you'll see an example of that later this week! We have only a few boxes left. I'm sure most of that stuff will be sold or donated. If I haven't needed it this long, I probably don't need it now...Right? 

Uncomfortable Truths, Volume 1

One of the blogs that I follow, Katherine of Grass Stains has this amazing series of posts on her blog that are all about her uncomfortable truths. You can click here to read them, they are seriously hilarious.

Anyways, I figured since I'm not feeling so hot and I'm tired as all get out I would share a few of my uncomfortable truths instead of uploading pictures and work on the posts that I actually need to post.


:: I am getting more and more irritated by the fact that I am the only one in this house that changes the toilet paper rolls when they are out. Sadly, I will hold this in until the next time I look over and see that there is no toilet paper, I will save the tube and throw it at Bryan's head.... and then I'll feel better.

::  I read a lot of design blogs and a lot of people comment, "oh you are so inspirational!" but for me? They discourage me more often than not. Because my German shepherd doesn't understand that a decorative tray on an ottoman is not target practice for her tail.

:: My cat also does not understand that when he sleeps on top of my cushions on my BRAND NEW COUCHES he leaves a layer of fur when he gets up.

:: My entryway depresses me every time I walk through it.

:: The other day, I was getting ready and I went to put some slip-on shoes on my feet. What I was greeted with was huge pile of drool.

:: My husband does the dishes after I cook, and almost every single time he asks complains that he is missing Tupperware and he just knows it's gotta be somewhere.... But he never looks for it.

:: I have such a terrible memory that I lose things all the time. The other night we went somewhere and when we got home, I made a mental note that I stuck my keys in my jacket pocket so I wouldn't forget them in the morning. The next morning, I check my jacket pocket and there are no keys. At this point I'm going nuts because I hate being late and when I finally thought to check my purse, there they were... Apparently, I was so worried I would forget about having them in my jacket pocket that I put them in my purse. But then I completely forgot what I had done. Bright side of all this? It seems that the mental pictures are, in fact, effective.