Resolve To Change

I have been thinking a lot about what I want to change in my life. The list is never-ending. In order to keep my sanity, I've decided to only focus on four things this year.  

1. Get Fit & Get Active

The first challenge I have to face is to change my eating habits and get more exercise. (As I type this I am eating a banana. Yay for me!) Even though I love my dear hubby so much, the boy has the worst eating habits in the world. We are also lazy. Which is not a great combination. I am the cook in the family, so Bryan cleans the kitchen. Therefore, he HATES for me to cook because then he has to clean. He talks me out of cooking all the time, appealing to my lazy side. We always end up arguing and I get so frustrated that I take on the mentality that I'm not making him a ding-dang thing because if I do some Ex-lax might end up hidden in his plate by mistake! Oh just kidding...maybe. But I've got to stop letting him win. I need to cook. I need to eat healthy, homemade meals so that I don't eat Burger King and become even fatter than I already am. I'm told that everyone gains weight their first year of marriage. Well fine, but this is the second year and I'm ready for a change!

2. Challenge My Marriage

Bryan and I met when we were just kids. It's my opinion that a lot of the time, we revert back to our childhood selves when we deal with certain things. Also, I am a ridiculously hopeless romantic. I love to be romanced. And its a deal-breaker, ladies. (In the words of Liz Lemon from 30 Rock. Love that show!) Luckily, Bryan knows this about me so its not a shock. Unluckily, he has a hard time understanding that even though I am a romantic, I don't need huge grand gestures. While I love the random big bouquet of roses and jewelry, I would rather have 'small feedings', if you will, of romance. For example, a note tucked under my pillow to find when I go to sleep or in pair of pajama pants to find the next time I wear them. Waking up to a hot cup of coffee on my nightstand. Having dinner cooked for me without the obligation to clean afterwards. These 'small feedings' are simple and take little effort, but make a huge difference in my life and the way I feel about my boo.

When I talk (read: complain) to Bryan about needing these things, he has asked me, what do I do for him? How do I appeal to his love language? I may be able to list a few things but it's not as much as I should. I don't show him enough how much I love him. More often than not, I hide the fact that if something were to happen to him, it would destroy me. I don't want him to know just how deep my affection is for him. I'm scared that it will be used against me. It's not right. 

Bryan and I decided that we were going to do The Love Dare. We watched the independent film Fireproof  right before we got married and even with the weird acting, it had a powerful message. A message that stuck with me. I want a strong marriage. I want us to be able to withstand anything that life throws our way. It's important that we actively seal any cracks that come into our marriage so that termites can't get in and eat at the foundation of our marriage. 

I haven't spoken with Bryan about how comfortable he feels with sharing our journey on my blog, but I'm hoping to be able to!

3. Walk With God

I used to have this amazing, deep spiritual relationship with our Creator. And I let it go. I'd try to get back into it and each time my walk would be attacked to the point that I stopped trying. Something that Bryan and I were told for our first year is to enjoy each other. If we wake up on Sunday and want to go to church, go. If we want to stay in bed and talk, then do it. Because of Bryan's work schedule, we didn't go to a whole lot of church. For our first anniversary, we resolved that it was time to attend church every Sunday. Since October 25, we have only missed three Sundays. We are slowly but surely getting back to where we were a very, very long time ago. And this is something I want to develop even further. 

4.Get Unpacked and Organized

Don't judge me. We moved into our house in September.... And I still have most of our life in boxes. Honestly, there are few reasons why that is. The biggest is that I am lazy. But the second reason is that I've always lived in very small houses. When Bryan and I lived together (not good, don't recommend it.) we lived in a very nice sized house. Then we ended our relationship and it really was just like going through a divorce. I took half and he took half. I moved into a two bedroom apartment with a roommate that was considerably smaller than the house we shared and ended up donating and selling a lot of furniture on Craigslist. The next two houses I lived in after that were tiny, too. And Bryan has very little furniture since his Dad kept the set he's used for the past 23 years of his life. All this to say, we have a house with over 1800 square feet and not a whole lot of furniture to put books and picture frames and candles. We also don't have a whole lot of storage. So things are slow going at the moment. It'll get there though. I'm sure of it. 

Filtered Resolutions

Every year, you hear the obligatory new year resolutions from people that want to start the year off right. More often than not, I refuse to make a resolution because the few years I have, it lasted about a month. What I usually say is that I'm going to try to be better. A better person, worker, friend, wife, blogger, etc. Just better in general. There is always room to be better and simple decisions can get you there.

Bryan and I have been talking about our life and lifestyle a lot lately. I've deemed 2011 as "My Year." This is my year to get healthy. To lose weight. To stop mindlessly stuffing my face. But I want to go further. I want to make an entire lifestyle change that will live on PAST 2011. I want my husband to think I am cute. And honestly, more importantly, I want to think I am cute.

Lately, I've moaned and complained about taking pictures with my family. I don't want any snapshots of myself. I have little confidence and recently, I've been going so far as to think "Why even do my hair/make-up? What is the point?" Ew. That disgusts me more than this weight gain. Every time I think that I go straight into the bathroom and I do my hair and make-up and I revel in it. I remind myself that I am not defined by my weight or my clothes. My choices define me. The decisions that I make help to define me. I can say, until I am blue in the face, that I want to lose weight. But until I make the decision to go for it, it's all lip-service.

I've mentioned before that I read Young House Love. The other day I was going through some old posts trying to find something and in one post, Sherry writes that in order to keep herself from being paralyzed with indecision in decorating, she just does something. She puts a frame on the wall or just moves an item around. And then she realizes one of two things. Either she likes it, and keeps it. Or she doesn't, and she gets a better idea. Remember how I wrote about my decorating funk? I'm still in it, for the most part. But I am hanging frames anyways. I am decorating my house anyways. And it's working. I'll realize I don't like something and I'll grab it and put it somewhere else. It's slow going, but it's GOING. Which is the point.

This year is brand-spanking new. I can mold my days how I see fit. I can take control of my life instead of just coasting on by. When the hubs and I started talking about this, I thought a lot about it in private. When I would start thing about all the tens of thousands of things I want to change this year (and for the rest of my life) I got really overwhelmed. I kind of suck so, I have a lot to change. Instead of going overboard, I'm going to break it down to simplify it.

Each morning I wake up, and I have a good forty-five minutes of silence. Bryan and I don't talk in the morning. It almost always ends badly. We say good morning, we get ready in silence and we say I love you, bye. That's it. It's rare if we exchange more than a few sentences in the morning. I'm going to start utilizing this time to think about the following:

• What do I need to accomplish today?
• Use the KISS! method. Keep it simple, stupid! Only list 5-7 things, depending on how tedious they are. 
• Put these items in priority order.
• Example, if one task is "cook dinner", do the dishes first so the kitchen is clean and ready for you.
• Do them.
• Find the time to do it. When you get home from work, take a 15 minute breather. Say hi to your pets, change into comfy clothes, drink some water and catch up on your texts. Then? Get busy. Set a time limit or create a pile. (Can't believe I just said that. My sister Alison used to create piles for me on Saturday mornings and I hated them. But if it works for you, do it.)

Every week, I'm going to do a quick side-bar listing what I need to get done by the week. Little projects around the house, chores and other items that are not a 'daily basis' item. 

Every month, when Bryan and I sit down to do our budget, we are going to set a monthly honey-do list. I'll have one and he'll will have one. 

This year, I have already decided to have a few general changes to implement into my life.(You'll see that post tomorrow.)

Here is the key ingredient to my plan. Grace. If I have a terrible day and I listed to scrub the shower and toilet? I'm not going to. I am going to give myself the grace and room to take each day as it comes. When tomorrow arrives, I'll start my list off with whatever few things I didn't do the day before. I am not going to beat myself up about missing a chore. I am going give myself the same courtesy I would want Bryan to give to me. When I have I bad day the last thing I want Bryan to do is knock me down a few more inches. I'm going to encourage myself to read a book or go for a walk to recollect myself. No berating myself!

Small ripples in a big pond? Maybe. But even small ripples can rock a boat. 

Happy 2011!

Sad But True

This is an actual conversation between me and Denise.

 Who knew it would only take a year to become old and matronly.

Sigh.

Can it be true?

Oh... Hello, there. 


I'm sure you have been waiting on pins and needles for my return. Yes? Yes. Or maybe you have been as busy as I have been. That could possibly be true. Well, I'm back. Eight months later. We'll see if it was worth the wait. 


I think the best way to get everyone (all five people that read this blog) caught up is to give a really quick rundown of what the heck has been going on. 


Here is the recap!


In January, this happened:

 Aww, poor little Skeeter. Breaks my heart to see her like this... Although, that looks kind of like blood right there in the right part of the picture huh? It's not. It's engine fluid of some sort. The fire department came and sprinkled some stuff on it, so it must have been flammable.


So, also, as well, this happened in February:

Heeeellllooo, 2007 Vue. Sorry for the poor quality, but I took this on my phone. Well, my old phone. More on that later. 

To prove just how insane Bryan and I are, we also got this in February.

Yeah. Two cars, one month. Luckily, our pocketbook survived. 

March came around and... I don't really remember March. All I remember is that I cooked a lot... and it was Kari's birthday. Except that I never bought her a present, because I promised her that I could make her a Shutterfly book of her wedding pictures, but we haven't gotten around to doing that. (HI, KARI!)

April rolled around, and we were ready to look for a house. So, while Bryan worked, I looked at house, after house, after house, and I found one. And we put in an offer. Then it was accepted. And then we were in escrow, and then it was ours. It closed on May 7 and we received the key on May 8. There was a whole lot of running around during this part, but I'm going to write a separate post about it. 

May was our 6-month anniversary. So, we went to Carmel-by-the-Sea and enjoyed a few blissfully quiet days. 

We spent one night in Carmel, and then we took the road above, named Old Coast Road, to Big Sur and spent the night there. It was really a great vacation. Honestly, any vacation that allows me to have lobster is a good vacation. :)

Once we got back to work and to reality, we waited and waited for some paperwork to go through. Finally, at the end of June we moved into my father-in-laws' house which was all kinds of stressful, but soon a little bit of this started happening...

Yep! We got a bunch of construction done on the house. We took down a few walls, put in a new garage door, and put in some brand new carpet. The construction went on from the end of June to the middle of September. It was a ridiculously long process and we think that it was part contractor laziness and part city inspector laziness.

While the construction was going on, however, Bryan got bit by the technological bug, and we bought two of these:

...Which would be why the picture clarity changes so much in-betwixt the photos above. How much do I love that I worked in-betwixt into this post? Lots.

July and August we busy months but I can't really remember anything that happened because well, I have a horrible memory. Have I mentioned that before? Probably. OH. Big news. In July, Bryan and I went to San Diego so we could visit Alison and family, and so Bryan could play at a wedding that Alison's company, One & Only Events was coordinating. (You can also read up on their blog.) When we returned from said trip, my other sister, Kari and her husband Adam had HUGE news. 

That is right! Kari is pregnant. In this picture she was 16 weeks. :) She is due in February and I'm SO EXCITED to have another niece or nephew. I think it's a nephew but we shall see!

On September 18, we finally moved into our house on Birch. Our wonderful, crazy, project house. Now its October and we have a ridiculous month ahead of us. Let's highlight... 

-October 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 - We're having our wood flooring installed in the kitchen, dining area, entryway and hall way. We're also having our house painted!

-October 8 - My 23rd Birthday. Woo-hoo!! 

-October 9 - Birthday get-together at my place and the unveiling of our house. Hopefully I get everything I can organized and straightened! 


-October 10 - Kari and Adam's Gender party. We're all going to find out what they are bringing into this world at the same time! So cool!


-October 25 - Anniversary.... ONE whole year. I honestly can't believe a year has passed. It's unbelievable. We're taking off on a BIG TRIP. More on that later. :)


That is the end of our catching up journey. I'm sure there is a lot that I forgot, but I'll be adding things in and updating after my husband reminds me of all the stuff I forgot. Did I mention I have a horrible memory? 

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

This year, Bryan and I decided to have a couple of friends over the house to play games and hang out. Since our lease is up at the end of January, we decided that it would be more frugal then going out on the town. It ended up being us and Denise, Anna, Colleen and Jordan.

It was fun and laid back! Next year though, we're gonna party! Maybe.... Vegas? Who knows!

Here are a few pictures of our night!