Finger Diarrhea and Other Nonsense

I've heard that when you have nothing to blog you should still blog. What I haven't heard is what to blog about when you have nothing of substance to write?

I suppose I will write some quick updates.

-A few days ago, or maybe it was yesterday...Who knows. The days really just bleed together. Anywho. My cell phone at work rang. When I picked it up, there were about four large paper clips magnetically stuck to the speaker on the back of my phone. Of course, right at that time a coworker walked by and laughed at me because I just left the paper clips there. I'm classy like that.

-There are a few things that Bryan and I really want to focus on in this second year of marriage. We both want to find a church and get plugged in. We want to make new coupley-married friends so that we can all talk about coupley-married things. We want to set a budget, stick to it and save money. Bryan wants me to clean more. I want Bryan to clean more. I also want Bryan to brush his dog. Bryan probably wants me to stop losing all my hair. (What is up with that anyways? It must be the changing in the weather, because my side of the sink always has hair every where. Argh.) I want Bryan to get his own dang towel in the morning instead of me handing it to him. No one hands ME a towel when I am done in the shower. I have to step out and around the glass door and then run back in the shower to dry off and not freeze. (Bitter much?) I'd also like Bryan to stop looking like a ragamuffin and cut his DANG hair. Bryan probably wants me to stop whining about how I hate my hair and can't figure out what to do with it. Also, he probably wants me to stop whining about how his hair looks. Well, you can't win them all, darling!

-Personally, I need to change my habits. I would love for my day to go something like this:
                  6:30 - Wake up and get dressed.
                  6:45 - Leave the house to jog
                  7:15 - Get home and take a shower.
                  7:30 - Get ready for work
                  8:15 - Leave for work
                  4:45 - Get home from work
                  4:48 - Change into work out clothes
                  4:55 - Get dinner prepared and work out.
                  6:15ish - Eat
                  7:00 - Clean something - anything! Except the kitchen... Bryan is doing that.
                  7:30 - Take a shower
                  8:00 - Pop in a load of laundry
                  8:15 - Watch a movie and\or TV and blog.
                 10:30 - Go to sleep.

This is how my day looks:
                 7:10 - Wake up and turn on the shower.
                 7:11 - Go back to bed to wait for the water to get hot.
                 7:13 - Get up because the water is ALMOST hot.
                 7:15 - Get in shower, forget the face-wash, get out of shower, get everything wet, grab face-wash, get back in shower.
                 7:16 - Do showering business.
                 7:30 - Get ready for work.
                 7:45 - Watch Bryan get ready for work in half the time it takes you and curse the universe for have to be a girl.
                 8:17 - Leave for work
                12:00-12:15 - Eat while writing a quick blog.
                 4:15 - Get home from work. Read the mail, have a snack, piddle around the house, sit around and do nothing OR go run errands with sister/Denise/or by myself.
                 5:30 - Bryan gets home... YAY!
                 5:45 - Get frustrated because Bryan is already being annoying.
                 6:00 - Start dinner/go out to dinner/wait for dinner-mates to be ready for dinner.
                 7:00 - Eat
                 7:30 - Sit on my bottom and watch a movie/watch tv/go to a movie/go hang out with people/nothing constructive.
                 11:30 - Complain to Bryan that I want to go to bed.
                 11:31 - Bryan complains because I get up to go to bed.
                 11:35 - Get done washing face and get in bed, lights off. Sigh-of-relief.
                 11:42 - Bryan comes into room, turns on lights, takes forever to get in bed.
                 11.55 - Remind myself that I could go to jail if I kill Bryan.
                 12:00 - Lights off and I pass out, much to Bryan's dismay..... if you know what I mean. :)

Do you see the difference? Do you know that I cannot for the life of me freaking just DO IT? Ugh. So over myself. How do people do it? And I don't even have KIDS yet. Oh Lord. That is gonna be so hard.

Side-note: I'm usually pretty good at getting up early in the morning if someone is already up. I am a morning person. I loved getting up with my mom, having a cup of coffee (or cereal) and watching the news. If Bryan were an early riser, I would get up too. But he isn't. I don't wake up early because I don't have anything to wake up FOR.

-My love handles are taking over my entire body. Must, must get into shape. Not even that. Just get HEALTHY. And I know those unwanted enemies will go bye-bye. I am excited because I brought some fruit to eat today, instead of Halloween candy. One step in the right direction!

How about those quick updates? About as quick as a sloth, huh? Well, apparently what they say is true. If you have nothing to blog about, blog anyways.

Because, you'll just have diarrhea of the fingers.....

Sorry for the mental picture.

Confusing Directions

This might seem random, but I find that I am a tad more honest and open when I blog at night. Is that weird? I mean... I generally think of myself as a very honest and straight forward person. But even I have my moments when I am guarded... although I try not to be on here.

Last Tuesday night, Ryan, Denise, Andy, Anna, Anna's sister Sarah, their friend Erin and myself went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

I liked it a lot, obviously. But I felt that the book had a great line up for a screenplay. As much as I understand that the book will always have more details, I feel that the lines of the movie should parallel to the book. I think that the Half-Blood Prince was one such book that could have been translated into the theater without risking too much of the meat.

I was pretty disappointed. There were little things that were changed for seemingly no reason at all. Anna also made a great point: The movie focused so much on the relationships of the characters. But not on the most important one - the love story between Harry and Jenny. This story was all about building our knowledge of Voldemort. And yet we didn't learn very much about him. We didn't learn about Merope or what happened to Voldemorts father. We don't see what happens to Voldemorts grandfather. The whole thing really saddened me. The entire premise of the Half Blood Prince is to learn how to defeat the Dark Lord - and yet we hardly learned anything at all.

Anywho, I am still happy with the books and still an avid fan. Hopefully the next two movies will be worth the craziness in this one.

Early Wednesday morning I got up and loaded the Vdub. I made great time to Alisons' house where I am spending my vacation.

It has been so nice playing with Emma and Brody. They are so cute. Impossibly so. Last night, Alison and Mark went out on a date and Emma and I had a date of our own. We had dessert which consisted of a freshly cut pineapple that was delicious. We played Crainium's Hullabaloo and we watched Pinocchio... Which I haven't seen in years.

Okay... so maybe I am extremely lame for not knowing this, but does anyone else realize the similarities between Pinocchio's Hi-Diddelee-Dee (An Actors Life For Me), Snow White's Yo Ho, Yo Ho, It's off to Work We Go and Pirates of the Caribbeans A Pirates Life For Me?

I just put that together. Here are the links:

Pinocchio
Pirates of The Caribbean
Snow White

Moving on from that distraction...

I've been stressed lately. All this life stuff. When did things get so complicated? It feels like my life as 360ed in the past few weeks. The beginning of July set off a course of events and now I'm left with the remnants and I have no clue what to do with them. It's like I am trying to deal with it but I really don't know where to begin the process.

So, I do what I can.. I pray. Last night after the kids went to bed and I went out on the balcony and watched the cars pass. I had a long talk with God. I went through all the emotions... sadness, anger, confusion and then by the end of course, I apologized. I forgot that He has a plan. And right now His plan is changing MY plan and it completely frustrated me. Even though I shouldn't I felt like he was scolding me.

"Do you think you know more than I? Do you think you can plan your life better than I can?"

And of course, I know that I cannot. How could I? Against the one who knows every hair on my head... every desire of my heart.

Again, I am in the position of letting him take the reins. Which is hard for me to do. I feel like my heart is changing and I'm kind of scared what that brings. I've always known that I wanted to be a wife. I've always known that I wanted to be a mother and maybe even a stay at home mother. I mourned for a while when I learned that none of those things may be in the cards for me. I might not ever get married or find 'the one'. I might never get to experience motherhood.. and that saddens me to the highest degree.

Such is life. I just have to learn that things will come when they are meant to. And not when I desire them to be so. I have to keep my head straight and do what I can.

Hmm... off subject... the window is open in Alison's living room and the neighbors are smoking and its wafting in here. SERIOUSLY? Does this follow me every where I go?

The neighbors to the left of us at home smoke on their back porch... our swamp cooler sucks it in and blows it right into our living room. Geez.

Moving on. Tomorrow, I make the trek back to Hanford. I'm excited to go home and see my bestie and my babies, Duey and Danny. I guess I should be going off to bed to get some rest.

Until the next time....

Good Times at the KC Fair

It has been too long. I know, I know. I am slacking like crazy. Alas, my life is busy, and when life gets busy blogging is placed on the back-burner. But, what is nice is that I actually have things to write about!

The past two weeks have been Really. Freaking. Crazy. There has been a bunch of stuff going on at work, PLUS getting ready for the new year.. PLUS closing out the old year... PLUS trying to get completely organized so that this year is nothing like last year.

I have also been trying to get the house situated because the owners are coming to visit and I really want them to SEE how much I love their house. Which proves to be difficult when
A.) I am poor.
B.) My roommate is poor.
C.) We both stink at gardening/physical labor for various reasons.

But, we've gotten some things done and we need to do more but all the super hard work is pretty much done.

Luckily, my friend Ryan who came to visit from Kansas, helped us out A LOT with the gardening. (He even cleaned our kitchen.) It was really awesome and helpful considering the fact that I've been so stressed trying to coordinate everything by myself.

Don't worry, I didn't JUST put my friend since 4th grade to work. We had a lot of long conversations about life and about our goals. We caught up as much as week could in the time that we hung out.

This past weekend was the Kings County Fair and Anna, Denise and I carpooled over to it. Here is a SUPER CUTE picture of us waiting in line... (which Anna was TOTALLY not happy about.)


Finally, we made it into the Fair! In true Hanford Fashion, when we walked in, there was an amateur rapping duo that was laying down the.. whatever it is they lay down. I really wish now I had snapped a picture because I think that it was hilarious.

So, we walk the strip and go down to animals. There was nothing too spectacular but Denise held a bunny... which was really nice until it spooked and tried to end it all by jumping like 4 feet away from her and back into the little petting area.

We met up with Ryan and got our over 21 wristbands and decided to go to the Josh Gracin concert which was good but not great.


We stood close to the stage and sang to the songs we knew... but what we were really interested is was the cute guitarist/singer/pianist/violinist. He was soooo cute. Every time he would pick up the violin my heart would melt a little inside. To our dismay, he doesn't photograph all that well, but we tried anyways:


And Anna was definitely enjoying the eye candy:

And in the background Ryan is trying to mess with her ear because that is what he does.

Now... I'd like to take a moment to reflect on our Favorite Fair Moment.

There we were... just minding out own business, when All Of A Sudden a man walked up with his lady. This wasn't just any man. This man had style, this man had class. This man was and is really everything that a woman could desire:

When this guy walked up, He was wearing the boots, wranglers, and a tucked in wife-beater shirt. Which was funny in and of itself... but then, he slipped on his light brown leather vest and he went from funny to DOWNRIGHT AWESOME. In fact, he was so awesome that Denise wanted to take a picture with him:

I wish, beyond wishes, that Anna's hand was just a TAD higher so that it would be right under his butt... Just because it would be hilarious.

After the concert, Denise and I took pictures with the Really Hot Guy.



We took some other pictures but I'll post those in a supplemental blog, since this one is already crazy long.

Oh, by the way. I had one and a half beers and a corn dog which was the Worst Idea Ever and I got totally sick.

But other than that it was a great fair and I can't wait for the next one!

I have tons more to update you with so make sure to check back!

If My Life Was A Movie...Baby, I'd Be A Star!

In order for you to understand today, I have to rewind you to yesterday.

Yesterday, after I worked all day, I went to Tom and Amy's and paid a RIDICULOUS amount of money for gas and if you purchase a car wash when you fill up your tank, you get a Whole Dollar off of your wash. Hooray! So, I did just that.

I set the pump to the fastest level and waited. From the corner of my eye, I see someone approaching me. Being a woman, I always get a little tense, especially since I have been ogled and hit on many times at this gas station. (But I like the owners a lot so I put up with it.) Well, I glance and its this guy that works in the store and he's coming at me waving his arms and flailing about and speaking (YELLING) his native tongue (Japanese? Chinese? Hmong? I'm not sure.) I look around me to see if he's yelling at me and of course, there is no one at the other side of the pump.

Immediately my mind is racing, okay, I didn't get into my car so there shouldn't be static build up. I am currently not on my phone or texting so he's not yelling at me about that.. I had no clue what I was doing wrong, so quickly I turned to grab the squeegee to wash my front windshield. In doing so, I pass him on the way to the front of the car and he hardly notices me. I watch as he gets his key out (all the while still yelling) and he unlocks the receipt part. He then turns to me and says, "Damn receipt paper. Always get stuck. Hour, hour. Minute, minute. THIRD TIME TODAY. You get receipt in store." He turns away from me and starts fiddling with the paper. I finished my washing of the windshield, put the pump back and walked into the store to get my receipt - which was imperative because that's how I would get my car wash code. It's printed on the receipt.

I'm trying so hard not to laugh because the guy was hilarious, I get my receipt, climb into Skeeter and go to the car wash port. I type in my code and start to drive in when I slam on my brakes because Something Swoops Down and Tries To Kill Me millions of pigeons swarm at the sound of the buzzer and one poops on my FRESHLY CLEANED WINDOW. My first reaction was surprise, then annoyance, and then I laugh. Of COURSE there are pigeons in the car wash. It's like an insurance policy for the gas station. Pay for Car Wash. Pigeon Poops on Car. Pay for Car Wash. It's an Endless Cycle.

So, I go through the car wash, praying a bird doesn't get caught on the brushes and I sing to Taylor Swift. No harm, no foul. But this put me in quite a good mood, which set up the rest of the night.

I went home, got ready as quickly as possible and then went to my sisters house who has started up a weekly Women's Group and last night was the first meeting. It was just a few girls and we got to know each other a little bit and set down what we'll be reading on what day of the week at what time. I was really excited to get involved, but unfortunately the day they are meeting are Thursdays.. Thursdays are Really Bad Days for me. So I'll attend when I can but it won't be often and I'm sad. Hopefully someone else will start a group on like Tuesdays because I would be first in line to sign up.

After everyone left, Kari and one of the girls were outside talking, so I let in Gunther so I could hang out. This is Gunther:

Yeah I know, irresistible right? So Gunther and I decide to Wreak Havoc on Kari's clean and lovely house. We chased each other EVERY WHERE... all over his wonderful bone, that looks like a cigar hanging from his mouth. Its adorable. We did this for a good 15-20 minutes and at the end, Gunther was breathing much like I was. Hard and fast. We finally conceded that he could have the bone and we cuddled on the couch for a bit to catch our breaths, then I left.

I went home, went to sleep. Slept.

Now, on to the REAL story.

This morning, the first thing I noticed was not the birds singing outside my window, or how my dog was curled up so sweetly next to me. No. The first thing I noticed was that my Butt was SO SORE. I climbed out of bed feeling like I worked out like a crazy person the night before. But I didn't work out. Why I am sore? IT COULDN'T BE BECAUSE I WAS RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES IN KARI'S HOUSE CHASING A DOG RIGHT? I had to do something else yesterday... Lunges? Run 10,000 miles? It couldn't be. It couldn't. It WAS. How very sad. So I walked into the bathroom and looked at my self in the mirror to assess the damage to my hair and with all seriousness, I looked like a early 80s pop star gone wrong. Terribly Wrong. My bangs were standing straight up, my hair was fuzzy and crazy and I forgot to wash off my eye make up so I had black all around by eyes. All I needed was a leather jacket and a cigarette dangling and you'd think I transported through time.

I repaired the damage (with my hair actually looking cute today...and no I didn't put it up in a crap ball, thank you very much.) And then I got excited. Today is Friday. Friday is half day. More importantly... Friday is Coffee Day!!! My morning routine gets a whole lot faster. I'm speeding around trying to get everything done as quickly as possible so that I can finally hold my Tall, Hot, White Mocha with Vanilla from Java Heaven. I couldn't wait!

So, the last finishing touches: Get Dressed; Put on Deodorant; Put on Jewelry; Spray Perfume; Grab purse; Leave.

All of those were standard... except for the deodorant. I have just developed ANOTHER allergy to the ONLY deodorant I have been able to use for years. *tear* After posting this on Facebook, Kari says she just bough a two pack and that I could try it to see if I liked it or if it destroyed my skin. I stood there... looking at my previously deodorant with disdain. How could you fail me? How could you? After all these years of searching. Why? Then I looked at the new stick of deodorant.. I suddenly went to a dark place. Which is worse? Putting on my old deodorant and dealing with the eating-my-flesh burning sensation or trying this new, SCENTED deodorant and possibly having a more severe reaction? I almost chickened out. Almost. Coffee pulled me through. I grabbed the new deodorant in a rush to get done, out and to Java Heaven when I came across a whole new problem. I, not for my life of me, could not take off the little plastic thingy that is glued to the inside used to keep the deodorant from drying out.

Finally, I used my teeth. I know. Don't judge me. So I put it on, half expecting my skin to sizzle off, but nothing happened. I put the top back on, set it down and went to my perfume. When I lifted my arm I stopped. I could smell it. I can SMELL the deodorant. Is that supposed to happen? Am I the only one that can smell it? WHO would think this was a better alternative. (Ugh, I can smell it right now.) I started to freak out. I don't like smells. Harsh smells give me migraines. I do not like migraines. I quickly recovered, sprayed the perfume and walked out side. As I was backing out of the garage, I turned to go right... and I smelled it. AGAIN. I'm freaking out, man! I literally had to talk myself into calming down and kept focusing on getting a coffee.

I suppose I was focusing really hard which is why I missed my turn. I had to make a U-turn just to go back to the coffee shop. And of course I did it. The thought would never have crossed my mind to just continue to work. No sirree. I wanted that coffee. Needed it.

Is it bad when I roll down my window and the woman at the drive through says, "Would you like your usual?" or is it good? Because I consider it a wonderful thing. "Why yes, I would!" and that's it. She went off to make it (I love when this girl makes it. It's the best) and that was that.

In a much, much better mood after getting my coffee with the decadent chocolate covered coffee bean on the top, I puttered off to work, leaving my window down. I got on the main road, went a steady speed of 60mph, when all of a sudden I am Viciously Attacked by a receipt gone awry! Mind you, I jacked my wrist up so right now, I'm wearing a wrist support to keep it straight, which unfortunately gives me limited movement in my hand. I am also driving with this hand because I cannot hold my coffee in it. My coffee is being held in my right hand.

Sooo... I had no tools to fight this demon receipt! I can only imagine if someone actually saw me this morning in my car. Frantically switching between waving my arms to stop the receipt from getting my face and trying to keep the car straight.

Other than all that craziness, I received great news today! Katie has been having some issues with Zac and things seem to be moving in her favor. Praise God! For those of you that are already praying, please keeping doing so.

Until next time!

Reflection

Four years ago, I was seventeen years old; I was about to graduate high school. I remember that it was a warm day, but I was cuddled on the couch with my first love, Bryan. I have absolutely no recollection of what we were watching, because (usually) I have a really bad memory. But I remember this day because this was an important moment in my life. Around this day, the twenty-second of May, I asked Bryan to be my boyfriend. I told him that I was ready to give our relationship another shot. I wanted one more chance to give the relationship all that I had to give and to see where it went. Bryan accepted. He wanted another shot at us, too.

Roughly a month later, I was having a really hard time with life. I was living solely with my Dad, who was having major issues at the time. I didn't have a license, I was working full time at Mervyns to make ends meet, I had no relationship with my Mom. One sister was on the east coast, one sister was in southern California and my best friend had moved to Fresno. Oh, and my boyfriend lived three hours away. Most importantly, I had almost no relationship with God.

I was totally and completely alone. When I was younger, I had an ongoing fight with depression. Sometimes it consumed me. After graduation, I had no one, no hope and no faith. I was just a being. I fought hard to keep my head above water.

During this time, instead of going out and partying with the people that stayed in Hanford, I stayed home. I awoke every day that summer at 11:30. I had three Oreos and a glass of milk that I ate while watching the first 15 minutes of 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' in whatever room that had a TV that my Dad was not passed out in. I took 15 minutes to shower, watched All My Children for an hour as I did my make-up and got dressed. At one, I did my hair. At one-fifteen, I would try to wake my Dad up. On the days that I succeeded, I drove him and myself to Mervyn's and told him to pick me up at eleven that night. If he didn't wake up, I took the truck and drove myself.

I would work from 2:00 to 11:00 every day. On the nights that I drove, I would cautiously drive myself home. On the nights that I told my dad to pick me up, 25% of the time he wouldn't show. One time, I walked home. Other times, I got a ride from a friend that would mercifully climb out of bed to come get me. Sometimes, I would get a ride from a friend at work. Once, I called my Mom. She dropped me off in tears. When he would be there, he would have already climbed out of the drivers’ seat into the passenger side; because he knew that I would not let him drive me.

I would go home, log on to the computer, surf the internet, listen to music and would be asleep by 2:00 every morning.

Amazing. To even type this. To even have lived that life. Fast forward four years and I am sitting in the cutest house ever, with my cat, Danny, curled up on my right side. I am sitting on my bed with a brand-new laptop that I am working as many hours as I can to pay off. I look up and I see my tiny flat screen TV that I bought with Christmas money. I see all the clothes that I have paid for. The furniture I have acquired. I know that outside the wall that I'm leaning against, my car, that I pay for every single month is sitting there, shining in the sun. I can bask in the fact that I don't have to return to my awesome accounting job for three days because of the Holiday on Monday. I know that I can walk into my backyard, play with my dog, and soak up the sun. I know that in 18 minutes, my best friend is going to be off work and on her way home so that we can hang out.

Not everything that I have done over the past four years has worked out. But just taking the time to remember what I've gone through, where I was, who I was and to appreciate where I am, who I have, what I have and who I am is like breathing fresh air. It’s like stepping out of your car after a long drive in the mountains and smelling the pine trees. Hearing the kids splashing in the lake. It’s like being transported into one of your favorite memories.

The past year of my life has passed so quickly, with so many changes. And now that it's starting to slow, God is pulling my heart to look back, to reflect, to remember. Even though some of it hurts, He is showing me that He delivered me. He answered all the prayers that I prayed. Maybe not in the way that I wanted or when I wanted but in the way that I needed and on His precious time.

God has created such a beautiful moment for me today.

I was dreading today. I was dreading it because both Bryan and I, a few months after we renewed our relationship, could NOT remember what day we did it on. So four years ago, I picked May 22. I picked the 22nd because 22 has always been my favorite number. And here it is. The 22 is today. Like I said, I was dreading it. I didn't want to remember all the 'good times' with Bryan. I didn't want to wonder what it would be like if we were still together today. I've prayed and asked God all week to be with me. To help it be a nice day to remember, not one that throws me off. I prayed and again, He was most faithful. He used today to remind me of His unending love. He reminded me that four years ago, I didn't have God in my life but I do now. He showed me the difference of living in this world without Him and living in this world in Him.

It is inspiring. His grace and His mercy astound me. Four years ago I was angry with God. Angry enough to turn away from him. Angry enough to scream and cry and doubt him. I was angry that my life had been such a train wreck. Everyone would say, "God knows the deepest desires of your heart and He is faithful." Then at the time, He knew that my deepest desire was to have my family back. To rewind and have a happy childhood filled with awesome memories and regular family problems. He knew how pained I was that I had missed out on my Mom and Dads best days, because once I arrived there were hardly any. He knew how I coveted my sisters’ memories of my Mom and Dad, happy and in love. I rarely got to see that. Both He and I remember how I would curse his name, how much I sinned, and still sin. And yet he cradles me and loves me like no one this earth ever can. He blesses me each and every day even though I don't deserve it.

What an awesome God.