Into the Night...

I labored for a long time in the living room. Around me, my sisters put Shepherd to bed, the midwives set up the birthing tub. It's all fuzzy now. After the living room, I labored a long, long time in the bathroom on the toilet, while Bryan timed them. 

Once the tub was ready, I got in. I was looking for relief. We had moved into the later hours of the night, possibly even early morning and I hadn't had a moments rest. We were all hoping that the water would help things continue to move along, but would allow me to relax and possibly even snooze. While I labored, Bryan played his guitar, supported me, my sisters and niece slept, my midwives waited, and they all tried to get me to hydrate.

Finally, it was time to come out. I had been in the tub for a really, really long time and it seemed that it was stalling my labor more than anything. I was ready for this to be done. In the moment, I thought that I was getting close, I couldn't fathom it going on much longer. Ha! I was used to my sisters quick and intense labors. I had no idea that I was still days away from having our girl. While I wasn't anywhere close, things had definitely become more intense. All of a sudden, I was really feeling it. We thought for a moment it was transition, but I don't know if I got scared and stopped it or I was just really mistaken. I was throwing up every sip of water and light piece of food they were giving me. I was running out of energy and it was starting to take its toll. 

After the birthing tub, I put on a robe, but the wet sports bra was making me shiver, so it didn't last long. I stayed on the birthing stool for a long time, while they continually tried to feed me crackers, cucumber and water. Everything came back up. I remember wondering if I needed to push, but the feeling passed. Things quieted down and Bryan and I went to bed, praying we could both get some sleep. 

As we laid down, we would both fall asleep but thing I would be violently pulled from sleep by a contraction. Over an over again, when my body would finally come to rest and slip into sleep, I would be ripped out of it. It was like torture. Bryan tried to keep me calm, because I was freaking out. I couldn't labor because I was so tired, but I couldn't sleep because I was in labor. 

Somewhere in there, we got up and took a long shower together. We laid back down but again, I couldn't rest. My midwife did not check me often, but I was dilating slowly but surely. At 7:30am on Saturday, when she checked me to see how far along we were, my water broke. The clock was ticking.