Expanding On A Thought

I've been thinking about yesterday's post quite a bit. If you have not read it you can scroll down because I'm too lazy to give you the link. But I love ya! :)

I believe that I am still in cranky-pants mode and I'd like to just blurb a few things.

• Skinny people? Hate you. Hate you and your gym-going self. What DISCIPLINE you have. Bite me.
• Naturally Skinny People? Do. Not. Even. EAT THAT OREO IN FRONT OF ME. Hate you and your figure too. And your genetics. Because the rest of us eat an Oreo and guess where it goes? IT GOES TO OUR ASSES. Yes. I just cursed. I should be allowed a quota per year. Quota is to be determined.
• People with blogs about houses that look like magazines. Hi. Tell me. How do you do it? You give us step-by-steps of how to hang a photo frame and how to effectively use "pops" of color. Here is what I want to know. How do you work a full-time job, take care of your husband who has a crazy-free spirit /animals that like to drool and leave hair every where, clean your house, cook dinner every night, write at least one blog post per day, shop for your cheap decor items, and still manage to have time to obsessively watch 30 Rock episodes streaming from Netflix? And solve world hunger? HOW? Enlighten me. Because I try to think about how my parents did it and now I realize why my room was always full of laundry and Saturday mornings/early afternoons were devoted to cleaning like banshees. Oh yes, and lets not forget how you handle your budget by clipping coupons and save money for your amazing kitchen. Because I? I want an amazing kitchen. Stat. 
• Those of you who get up early and go work out and read your bible and all that? Wish I was you. Would probably help my yet-to-be-determined cursing quota. 
• Target. I love you. And I hate you. And I hate that I love you. Why? Why is it that I visit you and I leave $100 poorer every time? And most of the time I don't have many cheap movies from your blissful cheap movie aisle. Most of the time its things like tampons and pads, and shampoo and conditioner and maybe even some face-wash. Why you gotta be so hard on my pocketbook? It hurts, Target. It hurts. 

Dang, an Oreo sounds pretty darn good right now. 

Argh!

I'm pretty sure this post is not "making good use of my time."

A conversation Bryan and I had this afternoon.

*ring*

Bryan: Hey! Working hard or hardly working!

Me: Eh... Working hard...er than earlier. (We spoke earlier in the day and I told him I was having a hard time concentrating.) What are you doing?

Bryan: I'm just leaving the store.

Me: *gasp* REALLY? Will you stop by a gas station and get me chocolate? Pleeeaaasssssee??

Bryan: Whaat? No! Chocolate is bad for you and it gives you migraines.

Me: NO it doesn't. I'm craving some! Its the whole hormones thing, babe! Please!

Bryan: No, (then he probably said something that translates to, "I'm not getting you chocolate because I don't understand what it is to be a woman and I am insensitive to the whole menstrual process." Although, I'm not sure if that is what he meant because I stopped listening after he said "No." and started thinking of a really good reason why he should get me chocolate.)

Me: Babe. I really need some chocolate! All you have to do is grab it and drop it off on your way in to town. It's not like its out of the way!

Bryan: Yes it is! I'm already on the freeway!

Me: WHAT THE HECK!? You just said you were right by the store.

Bryan: No! I was already on the freeway when I told you that. And I don't think there are any stores between here and there.

Me: UGH. Whatever. Bye.

*click*

So, thirty minutes later Bryan shows up and THIS is what he hands me:

M&Ms and a Hershey's Bar. Not bad. Except that its not good either. Its DARK chocolate. And if its DARK chocolate that means its not MILK chocolate which is what I was craving.

Conversation between Bryan and I about the "chocolate" he brought.

Me: What is this?

Bryan: Chocolate.

Me: Its DARK chocolate.

Bryan: Its better for you.

Me: Babe! I don't want better for you! I wanted a Snickers!

Bryan: Chocolate can give you migraines!

Me: Bryan. Chocolate and Dark chocolate are two different things. Chocolate is chocolate and Dark Chocolate is chocolate. I mean, ugh! Its NOT chocolate! Dark chocolate is NOT chocolate! Its different! And whenever someone says they want/need DARK chocolate they always specify. I said CHOCOLATE.

Bryan: I think its ridiculous that I had to go get you chocolate for you not to be mad at me.

Me: I wouldn't have been mad! I mean, besides the whole PMS thing. I just wanted some chocolate!!!

Bryan: You were too. You were all, whatever. Bye.

Me: Look. Thank you for bringing me chocolate. I just wanted like.. a Reese's Buttercup or something. Not this.

Bryan: Ugh.

My work phone starts ringing.

Me: Okay. Love you babe.

Bryan: Love ya. Bye.

-

After I dealt with the phone call, I posted this on Facebook.


And of course, I spelled menstrual wrong. UGH. I blame it on the LACK. OF. CHOCOLATE.

PS. I still love Bryan and he is amazingly amazing for getting me chocolate, albeit not the kind I wanted.

PPS. I don't have a specific problem with dark chocolate but when you are craving CHOCOLATE and you get DARK its very disappointing.

PPPS. Chocolate has not been linked to my migraines. I'm pretty sure my unhealthy diet has something to do with it but it is mostly because of me STRESSING about my job, unhealthy diet and love-handles. Also, stressing about getting dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate can create migraines. So I guess chocolate does affect migraines (Read: Bryan was right) .