Get Healthy Inspiration

Today, I read this article. It makes me want to weep. So, I immediately made this. I wanted something I could plaster everywhere to remind me. I need to see something that reminds me WHY I'm not going to eat another bite; Another chocolate; Another cookie. This is to remind me to step away from the soda and the sugar. To cook healthy, to eat healthy, to live healthy.

Choose health!

I've been...

Busy with life, and downtime calls for Ally McBeal. :)

If You Held Your Breath, I'm Sorry You Are Dead.

I have a love-hate relationship with my entryway. I love it because it allows me to enter my house. I hate it because it is long, narrow, and has no light, save for a ridiculous sunlight that gives a minimal light. It's a total waste. 

It also has a builders grade light - you can see it's weird round alien glow in the picture below. I just have to continually remind myself that slow and steady wins the race. Not everything can be tackled at once. I mean, it totally could, but when you are poor household renovations are few and far between. 

Oh, I know what you are thinking - this chick is crazy! She just went to the Azores. She's a baller. Well. I'll have you know that no, I am not a baller. I was lucky enough to get t-boned downtown in January of 2010 and the insurance settlement paid for it. 

I should have purchased a shirt that says "I got t-boned by a d-bag and all I got was this AWESOME TRIP TO THE AZORES."

That kind of sounds dirty. 

Which makes it even BETTER.

All that to say, is that I am po'. So, I did what any poor homeowner would do. I painted. 

Here is my crazy, cheesy friend Denise. She is my slave and I made her paint my entryway while I sipped a mojito and took pictures.

No, I'm totally joking. I cut in and she rolled the walls. I'm not THAT BAD of a friend. Gosh.

Then my sexy-pants husband did this:

Then, in preparation of my sister and her family coming to visit, Denise and my sister Kari helped me decorate... 

Before you scroll to see the pictures, I would like to advise you that there its kind of a mess. I like to keep things real. Then I cleaned up a little bit. So you get TWO before and afters. Super duper! 

So on this side, I'd like to get a little stool to sit right under the key hanger and then I'll get a little tray or low-sided basket to put shoes. I'm also going to put a little box on the top to make it look used and done.

This side is our catch all. Bryan's guitar, my purse, our fruit/veggie delivery baskets, the outdoor chairs that we use to sit out front, mail, etc. It gets a little crazy. 

Let's play a game. Can you find the missing drawer? Cause I freaking can't. Bryan lost it in the move. I have a plan for it, but for now, its ghetto-tabulous. 

Like I said, I cleaned up the entryway and took more pictures, but because this post has been sitting in draft mode waiting for me to post it, I'll just get this up. I'm pretty sure I promised it to you weeks ago....And I'm sure you sat at you computer this entire time waiting with bated breath. We've already established I'm lame. 

From what you can see, what do you think?

-Megan

Ps. I still love my floors.

Pss. That guitar is the bane of my existence.

Psss. That art was painted by Bryan's grandma Carol. I wish you could see it. Unfortunately I had to open up the door to get some natural light in there. Hate those windowless doors. 

Sometimes I Cheat

Sorry I've been MIA. Stress has been kicking my butt.  But I wanted to leave you with this: sometimes its better to mod podge recipes to their card instead of writing them.

It's good for the soul.

Lit Up

I'm gearing up for a huge entryway post - but until I get it finished we'll have to settle for looking at the lighting fixtures I am debating. Aren't you excited? I know I am!

First of all, when you walk into my house, you are greeted with a narrow-ish entryway. Its probably about 5 to 6 feet wide. Walled. It's like stepping into a CAVE. It doesn't help that my front doors are solid wood and therefore, give no natural light when the sun is out. Super duper.

The entryway opens up to a "great room." At first glance, you can see my dining area, living room and sitting area. I decided that to create a cohesive flow between the rooms, whatever color I painted the entryway would be the same color on the farthest wall that you see when you enter the house.

So... I did.

And I love it.

Hallelujah.

Then my hubs hung some stuff in the entryway... My sister, Denise and I decorated and it looks okay. Not finished. Just okay. It looks even better when there is not crap everywhere.

Moving on.

I have already picked out the doors I want.

I just need it fabricated for my double-door entryway. Cottage-y ain't it?

Sooner or later I'll have my doors, but until then I need a good light. Here are the ones that are in the running.

Source

Source

Source

Source

Source

I'm sure you have noticed a theme. These are all 'outdoorsy' and are pretty small. There is a reason. The space I have to work with is small. The ceiling heighth is only about 7 1/2 - 8 feet. I can't have a grandiose chandelier in there.


What I thinking is that I'll put a nice bright light in there and add four recessed lighting units later on. I'll have two switches, one for the outside lights, one for the main lighting fixture in the entryway and a dimmer on the recessed lighting. That way I have full operational control over what lighting is on, and how bright it is.

I already have my favorite... I just need to show Bryan, measure a few things and hopefully we'll pick the same one! :)

Audits and Things

We've had the auditors at work the past few days so I've been brain-dead by the time I get home. I've had enough juice to get to the gym twice and that's about it. In lieu of a real quality post, I'm gonna answer some questions from a questionnaire that I read about on Grass Stains.

Here we go!

When was the last time you tried something new?
Last night. I went to a class at my gym called R.I.P.P.E.D. It said it was for all levels. IT WASN'T. It was for people that can lift weights and do many reps of fast paced lunges and jump - while breathing. 


I liked it. But I'm not 'there' yet. I need to gain some endurance - but I'll go back. Probably in a few weeks.


Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?
Oh golly, I find that I subconsciously compare myself to everyone. To Bryan, to Denise, to my sisters, anyone that I come in contact with. Wondering if I should live/write/work/love/pray/decorate/create like they do. Wondering if there is something wrong with me because I don't live/write/work/love/pray/decorate/create like they do. And then I just kind of shrug my shoulders because I'm doin' alright. :)


What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?
Hmm. I've heard lots of sensible things in my life. I wrote about how Sherry from Young House Love said that instead of being paralyzed by indecision to just try something - then you'll figure out if you like it or not. That's pretty sensible. It's one of those things you should know and yet when someone says it a light bulb goes off. 


What gets you excited about life?
Man, I suck SO HARD when it comes to life. I am perpetually looking to the next thing. There is this never-ending dialogue going on where I am never satisfied with where I am, what I am doing, what I just finished. I'm always like, okay whats next? What's coming? Where am I going? With all of the rumbling in my head its hard to get excited about anything! And more often than not I get depressed or worried or stressed out. I'm working on it. I'm trying really hard to LIVE. And I'm excited about that.


What life lesson did you learn the hard way?
Ew. I learned so many lessons the hard way. I grew up fast. Too, too fast. I had a hard childhood that pulled the rose colored glasses from my eyes way to quickly. I saw a lot of ugliness and not nearly enough beauty. It was hard. I believe that part of why I am the way I am (detailed in the previous question, a bit) is because while growing up, I was wait-wait-waiting. Waiting for the ball to drop. Waiting for a savior. Waiting for things to get better. Always latching on to the next thing that could get me through the present.  Yuck. I am going to try to keep my kids kids. I want them to be safe, warm and innocent for as long as I can hold it together. And I hope I give them enough of a foundation to learn less things the hard way. 


What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?
Five years ago I was in a stand still in my life. I had made the huge mistake of moving in with my boyfriend and his father in a city where I had zero support system. I was hiding in New Hampshire with my lovely sister, her husband, and my beautiful niece. I spent quality time with them, made memories with my niece that I will treasure forever and ever. I recouped and cried and got my life together. Sometimes I wish I could go back and pause that moment. I wish I had stayed longer. I could've. But I was in SUCH A DING DANG HURRY to get a job. What an idiot. 


Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?
There are somethings that I don't question. Either because I feel like I have sufficient knowledge of it or because I plumb don't want to know! (Like, about drugs. I'm watching Weeds right now and it can be a tad uncomfortable. Haha) But I like questions. I ask them often. I want to know more. I try to learn new things. I want to learn electrical wiring but I'm freaking terrified. So, I keep pushing that back. On average, I learn, I read, I adapt. It feels good to learn. I wish I had felt that way in school though. ;)


Alrighty! That's all I have for ya. I speed typed this on my lunch so pardon the errors. 


-Meg

What's In A Name?

Before I start, I'm going to just preface this with a warning; It might get heavy.. I apologize.

Since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of having a family. My family had a lot of faults, and I always dreamed of the time that I could do it better. Differently. Do the things with my family that I wish I had growing up.

Most of the time, I am terrified at the thought of having a kid. On one hand, I'm like ahh, so cute. On another I'm like, diapers, spit up, no time, no sleep, loud noises... The actual birthing process... yikes. Shaking in my boots over here.

But, when I'm not freaking myself out about all that, and I allow myself the luxury of dreaming about it, I picture talking to my little 5 year old little girl. The way she looks always changes... sometimes she has my brown hair, Bryan's green eyes... Sometimes she has Bryan's black hair with my brown eyes and nose... it's always different.

I picture myself sitting with her and brushing her hair back and telling her about her name. My middle name. Lauriana. Showing her the pictures of the wall in the cemetery where her great-great-great-great grandmother is laid to rest. Where her name is painted onto a wall that crumbles more with every year. I'm showing her the pictures of when I was nine years old, standing by the wall, and when I took her daddy to go see it. How I anticipated her, talked with her Dad constantly about having a little girl and giving her a name that I love, that I'm proud of.

It's weird how a name can mean so much. I've spoken before about my Dad. About how I associate my life with a marker of his alcoholism. That the destruction of my family fell on my shoulders since I was the last one at home. It was awful. I have always felt... No... I feel that I was a last ditch effort to safe a marriage and only succeeded in making the pressure of life worse. Another mouth to feed? FOUR GIRLS?? Lots of emotional juice flowing for my Dad to use as a crutch for his alcoholism.

I never knew my Mom and Dad as a happy couple. I have few memories of the good times. But I always, always had my name. I had a special name. My sisters were Alison Marie, Kari Anne - perfectly good, solid names. But my middle name had flair. Megan Lauriana. It was a family name. My Mom told me that she wanted to have that as my first name, but thinking of a little kindergartner trying to spelling a first name with eight letters and a last name with eight letters made her think it was too much. I was sad when she told me that. Lauriana is just a beautiful name. Comparing Megan to Lauriana is like apples and oranges. Like an In-N-Out Burger to McDonalds. Ugh.

I swore, when I have a little girl, I would name her Lauriana. I would pass my name on... and hope that she loved it as much as I did, and maybe used it as a middle name for her daughter... or even a first name. Even if she doesn't, no problem. I just hope she loves it. And that she doesn't shorten it to Lauri. Eeek. :)

I mentioned in the last post that I went to the Azores. We went to two islands, Terceira and San Jorge. My maternal grandmother is from San Jorge and so is her mother, Mable and so is Mabel's mother - Lauriana. I took Bryan to the little cemetery where my middle name and our future daughters name is on the wall. A poor woman's grave marker.

Just this moment, taking Bryan to see something that means so much to me, that I dream of showing my future little chick, was worth the fact that I spent 95% of the trip sick as a dog from catching a cold on the plane.

Lucky me.

I Have Returned

It feels so good to be home. To be sitting on my couch with my animals, to be in America! Bryan and I went off to the Azores, Portugal to relax, rest and spend time with family. I have SO MUCH to blog about, so once I upload all my pictures and get settled, I'll be posting like crazy. 

:)

Fudge.

I am eating a fudge bar.

Did you know, that I write my posts the night before and then post it the next morning?

If you didn't you may have been thinking, wow. This chick is totally eating a fudge bar for breakfast. She's badass.

Or fat.

I'm going with the first one because it's true. And nicer.

Yes, I am a sneaky snake and I write my posts in the late afternoon/evening because when I first wake up, my hair is crazy, I'm tired, and my creative juices are not flowing. The only person I know (know being a relative term) that can wake up at the ridiculous time of early and post an entertaining blog is June.  How is she so funny in the morning? Girl is crazy.

I'm taking a break from showing you projects because Blogger has decided to be fickle and I'm not even gonna try to upload photos. Instead, I'm going to tell you about an other-worldly experience I had today. Yessiree. If you are a morning reader, grab your cup of joe, or your iced coffee, or your juice, or, if it's after noon...or at least eleven in the AM, a vodka tonic because you are gonna need something to hold on to. My experience was THAT insane.

My mother-in-law is going to Ethiopia tomorrow with a group of people from her church. They will do mission work and eat terrible food and have amazing experiences. This has little-to-nothing to do with the story, except that after I arrived back home, I got on the computer. Of course, I checked the ol' blog roll to see if anyone had posted and sure enough, Centsational Girl had posted about bookcases.

Dang her. Dang her and her knowledge and inspiration. You know what that DUMB post did to me? It made me go on a tangent. There goes my perusing the Internet until I get tired and make an excuse to go to bed early and play games on my phone until I pass out and find my phone stuck to my leg in the middle of the night. What proper sentence?

Tangent? Tangent! All of a sudden, who had a ton of energy and got all excited and started pinning like a freakazoid? I did. That's who. I got all of this wonderful, great inspiration and then I ruled out a few things that I thought I had wanted to do, but measurably was not possible.

And you know what? I'm a good wife. Because I know that Bryan doesn't give two pennies about home decor since all he sees is "another thing to clean", so of course, I asked him if he wanted to see my ideas. And he was a good husband because he hesitated, thought it through and then said "yes."

I jumped on that opportunity and SQUEEEEEEZED all the life there was out of it. (Okay, we are nearing the other worldly part of the evening) I told him all about brackets and reclaimed wood, and building ourselves, and my barn door entertainment center and on and on and so forth. And (here is the other worldly part) He said, "Yeah. That would definitely work. We would just...." and proceeded to give me ideas, advice and help.

Say, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Did he just.... Was he just... What the... Did he just say something.... supportive? Informative? Helpful? Encouraging?

What the whaaaat?!

So, then I told him what I would work on first and get done and he was nodding his head, and saying things like "great idea" and "makes sense."

And I died.

And then I died again.

I have no idea what happened but my world is rocked. ROCKED.

I think I'll go lay down now. I need to process this extremely weird turn of events. And also, try to pluck some hair out of his head to do a DNA match. Cause who the heck is that man and what in the world did he do to my husband?!

It COULD Be Considered Decor....Maybe.

Ya know. Some people say that major appliances should be chosen carefully so that they go the distance, or have a good warranty. Some people say that a major appliance is just as important to decor as anything else. It helps make or break the room it's in.

Let me tell you. In 2008, when my best friend Denise and I moved in together, my mom and her husband, Larry, gifted me with a 30 year old refrigerator that we found on craigslist. It had a weird smell.

I've had it since then. We just sold it in a yard sale a week ago. We were able to do that because this guy showed up....

to deliver and install this baby!

It's not fancy shmancy-pants, but I absolutely love it! It is a Black Kenmore fridge with an ice maker.  It was originally listed for $1000, but was on clearance for $699. I made them give me an extra 5% and free delivery WITHOUT opening a Sears card. And it worked.

My husband was pretty blown away at my haggling and no-nonsense buying attitude, and I'm stoked that I have a new, energy efficient fridge! Woo-hoo!

Jewelry Bulletin Board

The main purpose of my bulletin board is to make organize my jewelry. I wanted to act as an "art piece" of sorts since it was going to be hung in our bedroom.

I already had the bulletin board and it was in good shape. I grabbed the supplies I figured I would need, which included a bulletin board, Rustoleum Heirloom White spray paint, a neutral tone of linen fabric (purchased for $2.99 at Hobby Lobby), ribbon scored from Michaels, Aleene's Tacky Spray from Michaels, and a hot glue gun and sticks. 

Total, the project cost me a little under $15 since I already had most of the items or I had a coupon. 

I didn't feel that this project was something that needed to be detailed because bulletin board re-dos are a dime a dozen on the world wide web. Here is the final project. 

For those of you wondering how I did it, I'll give a brief rundown.

1. Get the necessary materials. Cut the fabric to size, so that it's about 1/4 of an inch from the border of the bulletin board. Measure out your ribbon and cut to size. Try not to cut crooked. Because I am left-handed, I cannot, for the life of me, cut a straight line. My husband had to bail me out. :)

2. Quickly sand down the border, and wipe it down. While it dries, tape some newspaper to protect the cork, and spray it down. You may need more than one coat. Let it cure for a 24-48 hours to get a good set.

3. In a well vented area, grab your fabric, tacky spray and the bulletin board. Spray down the cork in sections and smooth fabric over. Make sure to work in sections, this will help with creases and you don't want the spray to dry too fast. Repeat until entire cork board is covered in your choice of fabric. Do not spray yourself in the face. Do not inhale too deeply. Actually, you should wear a mask. Protect those braincells!

4. Grab your hot glue gun and ribbon. Work in sections - a line of hot glue and spread the ribbon on top. Put a thin line and be careful when pressing down. Don't burn yourself... or the ribbon! Make sure to keep things straight and stay right by the border. Take a step back and look every couple of sections to make sure you don't have any dips in your ribbon. It'll look weird. :)

5. Set your board aside for a few days to ensure that everything sets nicely. Hang and enjoy! 

Have you made a jewelry board? Do you have any other tips and tricks for renovating a bulletin board? Let me know!

*Pssst. I forgot to mention what I did to the back of the buttons. In the last picture, you can see that I partially pulled out a button. I grabbed regular, flat-fronted metal thumb tacks and hot glued them to the back. I might use gorilla glue for the next batch because I had one button separate from the tack. Hope this helps!

An Easy Project: Custom Buttons

Getting married and purchasing a home within the first year was overwhelming. Buying a fixer-upper foreclosure made it worse. I have never been into home renovation before I actually started looking for a home to purchase. Now that I have a home, I don't know where to start.

I mentioned a while ago that the best way to get started was to do something. That's what I have been doing! Small things to invoke some passion to get started. It's working! This week and next, I'm going to show you some things that I've been working on... and the projects just get bigger and bigger! YAY for progress. 

Let's refresh. In this post, I listed some projects I have been working on. Too lazy to click over? I don't blame you. I'll do the work so you don't have to...Wasn't that a slogan for a car or something? Hmmm... Must. Not. Get. Distracted.

Here is the list:

-bulletin board makeover
-custom buttons
-hat rack
-home organization
-Renovating a kitchen nook
-building a custom office desk
-DIY art

Let's jump right on in! 

A few weeks ago I decided it was high time to give my bulletin board a face lift. I started to really think about how I wanted to renovate it and what accents I would use. I decided that I wanted to make my own custom buttons. Now, before anyone thinks that I am clever enough to actually make my own buttons from scratch, lets get real. I went to Hobby Lobby and Joann's Fabrics in Visalia and I purchased a kit. 

Because that is what novices do. :)

I gathered my supplies; Some cute, small patterned fabric, the button cover kit (it was about three dollars) some craft scissors.

I decided not to do a step by step because honestly, its on the back of the package. One thing I did do was grab pliers so that I could take off the back part of the button, since I would not be using it to sew onto a garment. I later discovered that Joann's has a kit that includes flatbacks. Doh!

Sidenote: The kit from Joann's contained 10 buttons. 10 round parts, 10 button backs with the hook for sewing, and 10 flatbacks. What the heck? Why couldn't they add 10 more round parts so that I could use EVERYTHING that came in the kit? Freaking lame.

Anyways, this is what I ended up with:

That's right! I ended up with a blurry button. Oh, wait no. That's just my fantastic camera-phone skills. Way to have the ottoman fabric in focus and not the button. I rock. 

Tomorrow, I'll have (better quality?) pictures of the bulletin board, and what I did to the back of these buttons. What an intense cliff hanger. :)

Welcome!

I never, EVER check my stats. Because it's depressing when I just see my 5 views per day....which is my Mom, Husband, Best friend, and two sisters. (hi guys!!)

Imagine my surprise when I check it and see that I have had THOUSANDS (....okay, maybe its hundreds...but it feels like thousands!) of page views from Life Begins at Thirty, Right? and a few other blogs too!

Welcome new readers! Glad to have you and I should have some things posted this weekend for your viewing pleasure. :)

So There I Was...

Ready and willing to put some posts together to show you and then my husband's appendix decided to claw it's way out from the inside. Therefore, an emergency surgery commenced and my poor slept-on-a-hospital-floor back refused to unkink.

Projects took the back burner while my main man healed. Things should be back to their regularly scheduled programming now that he's up and at 'em again.

Oh. you know what I love to see? A vulnerable man. Here are some gratuitious pictures of our time in the ER.

Bryan was drinking the iodine so that he could receive a CT scan to confirm that he needed surgery.

 Okay, so a little story about the above picture. We were confirmed for surgery and told that the doctor would either do it "really late at night or first thing in the morning." We transferred to the hospital and started the waiting game. Bryan's mom and dad left, and Bryan started a movie to pass time. I asked if the hospital had one of those reclining chairs, and was told that "We don't encourage the family to stay." I wanted to pop off and say, I'm not "family" I'm his WIFE. It's not like we have 30 people in here. Instead, I asked if I could get a blanket, because 1. I am smart. 2. You should ALWAYS be extra nice to your nurses. It makes all the difference in the world.

Anyways, The two chairs that were in the room were terrible, so I, sadly, made a space on the floor. I slept about three and a half hours before I was wide awake again. I walked around the hospital, spoke with some nurses, talked to my boss (who is always awake at an ridiculous hour) and played on my phone.

Finally, the nurse walks in and says it's time. This was about 5:45 in the morning. They prepped Bryan and took us back to the waiting area. That is where I snapped the picture of Bryan smiling like a goof-ball. The fact that he was wide awake, alert and smiling when I had slept on the floor (and my back was KILLING ME), for less than three hours, and now had to wait (alone*) for him to NOT DIE in surgery made me love him... and hate him. Because he is one of the happiest people I know.

So that picture up there makes we want to smile and club him all at the same time. Which is a spot on representation of how I feel about him most of the time. :)


*At the time that I took this picture, I thought I was going to be waiting alone. Luckily, my father-in-law saved me with coffee and a muffin. Then, after the surgery when we went back to the room, his Mom was there waiting for us. Love them so much!

Things Aren't Always Level

After a few months weeks of downtime I finally have something to blog about. Can ya believe it? I can't. I honestly just lost my passion. I'm frustrated with my weird living room. I'm frustrated by my weird pieced together furniture. I know what I want my house to look like, but doing it myself and having the money to do it is just plain hard. Don't even ask me about hiring someone to do it. Yikes.

A few weeks ago, Bryan asked me why I hadn't blogged in a while. To which I replied, "I have nothing to say." I want to be like these people. And her. And her too. Funny, witty, charming. A husband and wife duo. A wife that likes to watch her husband build things. Decor savvy. 

Hi. My name is Megan, and I am none of those things. I kind of suck. Not because I think I can't figure out how to do these things, but because I feel like it's going to look weird. Or my vision isn't going to come out right. Or holding a extremely thin shelf and a level at the same time plus marking where I am supposed to drill is way, waaaay beyond my coordination levels. And, my husband says I suck at hammering. Well pooh to him.

I know I've written about this stuff before. And I always have a revelation as to why I should, could and how to get around those problems. Yeah, I got nothing. But I figure that only a few people read this blog and I know most of 'em. I should be able to fail without utter humiliation. If I do suffer some humiliation, well, everyone needs to be brought to their knees, right?

Bryan doesn't like me to try things because I don't know what I'm doing. (He's right.) And if I mess up, I'll have to spend more money to fix it.(Correct, again!) Well, I'll never learn if I don't try. Money is important, but it's not everything. If I have put buying those bookcases on hold or put another project on the back-burner in order to fix a botched mission, so be it. Who cares.

Luckily for you, I had this revelation a few weeks ago. So I've got some projects to show you. All I've gotta do is take pictures. And write posts. 

Here are a few things I've got going on:

-bulletin board make over
-custom buttons
-hat rack
-home organization
-Renovating a kitchen nook
-building a custom office desk
-DIY art

Stick around. Things could get interesting. Or disastrous. 

Ham Sandwich

Last night, I did something I thought would never be done. I thought it would never be done because some may call me (read: I call myself) the master of procrastination and/or evasion. Because, here is the deal. I didn't WANT to do this. It is tedious, time consuming and while the end results in a feeling of a heavy boulder lifting off of my shoulders, I still stayed away. I'm smart.

Last night, I labeled, sorted and filed a crapload of papers. (I just added crapload into my dictionary. So it IS a word. Sucka.) Specifically, I went through that box of papers I blogged about a few weeks ago. Yeah. The one I kept pretending wasn't there? I finally went through it.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

After successfully pretending this box of papers didn't exist for eight months, I finally faced it. Wow. I'd give myself major kudos if it wasn't so pathetic that it took eight months for me to get organized.

Bryan and I were prepping for doing our taxes tonight. Which snowballed into, "WHERE IS THAT RECEIPT FROM THAT THING WE DID TO THE HOUSE?" That was me. Then Bryan would be like, "I like pineapples." or some equally random statement that had nothing to do with the task at hand.

Then I would turned into a green Godzilla-like monster and growl something about him being unhelpful and the last thing I needed was for him to be difficult and WHERE WAS THE RECEIPT?

So, then he'd tell me to stop being a martyr and that he WAS helping and then start rambling on about unicorns that wear plaid button-up shirts or something equally helpful and on point.

What I am trying to say, is that we had a great night.

Anyways, prepping for tax night was why I had to go through all those papers. Actually, no. Untrue. I had to go through all those papers because I couldn't find those receipts. Had there not been a necessity to find those receipts, well, the box wouldn't probably still be invisible to me. I fought the box and the box won. Or something like that.

And before a certain family member of mine comments,  I am aware that if I was organized during the year, I wouldn't be turning into a green Godzilla-like monster and pulling my hair out and generally scaring everyone except my husband who is immune to me.

I'm working on it. Thanks.

Anywho... I'm pretty sure that I have everything I need for my taxes. And if not, oh well. I'll work with what I got and there is that.

On a entirely unrelated note, I permed my hair. I am aware that the word perm is scary and images of the mid 1980s to 1990s come to ones mind when it is uttered. Fortunately, on me, its more like a body wave and it's cute except that I don't know how to actually style my hair.... which is a problem.

Another problem, is that whenever I YouTube videos about how to style your curly locks, well, videos of black women come up. Obviously, this is not a problem in general, but it is a problem for me seeing as I am not black, and my hair is radically different from their hair.

All this to say that, I'm having maturity and hair issues. What can I say? I'm a work in progress.

What you might be wondering is why the title of this post is Ham Sandwich. There is no other reason that that is what I had for lunch today and it was the first thing I thought of when I put my cursor there. I'm black and white that way.

Err... pun not intended.

Today?

I miss my Dad.

That's all.

Hi.

I feel like it's more often than not that I assure my readers (aka: my mom and sister) that I am not yet dead. However, they already are aware of this so I'll skip it.

Where have I been?

Inspirationless. Is that a word? I don't think so. I went through that bout of depression that I have blogged about and while the fog is lifting I haven't gotten any type of drive back. No fire. My bum is fireless.

I am, however, at a point where I don't want to spend money. I don't want to shop for clothes, I don't want to shop for food, I don't want to buy household items, I don't want to decorate. All of that is good for the bank account. Except for the food part, because when you don't buy groceries, you don't make things. When you don't make things, you buy town food.

When we were little, we rarely ate fast food. I remember when McDonald's had their Wednesday night $.59 hamburgers, we'd get them and they were the best. ever. If we would get Taco Bell on a Friday night before watching TGIF, we were allowed one "special item" and a regular taco.  Or we would just get the ten pack of tacos and each of us would get two. Oh! When we would go to Tulare, sometimes my Mom would let us stop for french fries and a drink. It was the best treat. My point, is that we rarely ate this type of food and when we did it was called town food. People make fun of me to this day because I still call it town food. It is food - from town. Hence, town food.

End of random tangent.

When you buy town food... you get fat.

Good news is that I have lost weight! Probably because I was deathly ill and missed an almost full week of work. That contributes to why I haven't blogged. But I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty positive that even if I HAD been healthy... I wouldn't have blogged.

I have to put living my life first, because if I don't, what will have to write on here?

I am most certainly not witty enough to carry this blog without real life substance behind it. I'm okay with being honest about that. Sometimes, I won't be blogging because I will be living... and then after I've had enough living, I'll blog. And I have to let myself be okay with that. It's hard though because I feel guilty.

Not because I think that any one actually reads my little slice of the interweb, but because I know how important it is for me to write.

Dumb. It's all dumb. The feelings I have about this blog are not rational. It is what it is and I'll write when I write. If there is anyone out there, other than my family, thanks for sticking with me....

This is worth it all.

Finding this one deal is worth all the times I leave empty handed.

It's The End.... of February

Well, I'll flat out just say it. I'm discouraged. I have NOT been kicking butt on my weekly goals lately. But, honestly, it hasn't been because I am lazy. I have been doing lots of stuff! Just... not the items on my goals. And did you notice? Where where the goals last week?! And where was my Friday post? I plum FORGOT. For real. So disappointed in myself... Anyways.

Let's review. Here are the goals I set for myself for this week.

Week of February 14, 2011

-Launder Things

-Go through the 2 boxes full of papers

that I pretend don't exist.

-Organize Jewelry

-Steam the master bedroom curtains

-Hang the master bedroom curtains

And the things I accomplished? 

Week of February 14, 2011

-Launder Things

-Go through the 2 boxes full of papers

that I pretend don't exist.

-Organize Jewelry

-Steam the master bedroom curtains

-Hang the master bedroom curtains

SUPER FAIL. Before I give my excuses reasons... I want to give a quick recap of what I DID accomplish the past two weeks - the things that weren't on this list.

Things I DID Do the Week of Feb. 14 and Feb 21

While I was Not Doing The Things Above

-I had an amazing date night for Valentines with my lover.

- I DID laundry. (Duh.)

-I managed to go grocery shopping and cook dinner... A LOT.

-I got sick.

-I went to the gym more often than usual. Except I started getting blisters so I need new shoes.

-I was really, really sore for two days. It hurt to do everything. It also felt amazing.

-I finished reading the Hunger Games. (More on this later.)

-Bryan and I worked on the house. (This too.)

-I managed to wake up early and get myself to work... EARLY.

-We finally bought a filing cabinet so we can get organized!

SEE? Do you see that I wasn't just farting around not accomplishing anything? Because that was not the case. I was LIVING. And while this blog is important to me and I want/need to write, I also need to go easier on myself when I fail. I shouldn't get all anxiety ridden to write that I failed. I'm human. I will fail. 

The only time that I should beat myself up is when I stop trying to accomplish anything. Because you can't have even a modicum of success if you don't try first. I'm proud of the stuff I accomplished. 

Now, back to the things that I (maybe, sorta) should've done the week of February 14 for a quick recap. 

I can now go through all those papers in the two boxes that I pretend don't exist because I have a filing cabinet... woot! I need to launder the curtains before I steam them. Freaking Cali manages to get her drool on everything! Why can't she just keep her tongue in her MOUTH?! She's lucky that she is so, so, so darn cute that she is worth putting up with drool. Plus, if I want a St. Bernard I should get used to it. I need to get a can of spray paint and then the jewelry sorting will commence aaaaand I already asked Bryan to help me with the master bedroom curtains this week and I just know he won't let me down. (Right babe?!) How is that for a quick recap?

This week, I'm going to go light on myself. 

Week of February 28, 2011

-Do the (never-freaking-ending) Laundry.

-Fix that thing you haven't blogged about yet. :)

-Hit the gym four times this week.

-Clean the master bathroom.

I think all of those things speak for themselves... so I'll skip the play-by-play so we can get to  the month end wrap up of my yearly goals. Obviously, the second to-do is vague but you'll see why within the next few days. (Here is the link to last months wrap-up.)

For those of you that have been reading for a while, you know that I have been trying to implement major life changes this year. They are the following:

1. Get fit & get active

2. Challenge my marriage

3. Walk with God

4. Get unpacked and organized

1. Get fit & get active

I have been increasingly getting better and better and getting my butt to the gym. I've recently been looking into another huge lifestyle change, and once a decision has been made, I'll be sure to blog about it. We'll see how it goes! 

2. Challenge my marriage

I recently went through and six week depression and I'm stick working my way out of it. Every day is better. Bryan and I are better than we ever have been, and I think it's only going to get better. We haven't started the Love Dare yet, but that is on the horizon! 

3. Walk with God

Along with regularly attending church, we also have started up a weekly bible study. On top of that, my prayer life has definitely increased, and my amazing mother-in-law gave us a March daily devotional booklet that starts, well, tomorrow! The one thing I really want to work on is getting into my bible more often during the week. I'd like to hit four days a week for at least a half our of reading and God time. 

4. Get unpacked and get organized

I have been working a lot on the way I view my house. I have also been working on putting more love and effort into things, and you'll see an example of that later this week! We have only a few boxes left. I'm sure most of that stuff will be sold or donated. If I haven't needed it this long, I probably don't need it now...Right? 

Uncomfortable Truths, Volume 1

One of the blogs that I follow, Katherine of Grass Stains has this amazing series of posts on her blog that are all about her uncomfortable truths. You can click here to read them, they are seriously hilarious.

Anyways, I figured since I'm not feeling so hot and I'm tired as all get out I would share a few of my uncomfortable truths instead of uploading pictures and work on the posts that I actually need to post.


:: I am getting more and more irritated by the fact that I am the only one in this house that changes the toilet paper rolls when they are out. Sadly, I will hold this in until the next time I look over and see that there is no toilet paper, I will save the tube and throw it at Bryan's head.... and then I'll feel better.

::  I read a lot of design blogs and a lot of people comment, "oh you are so inspirational!" but for me? They discourage me more often than not. Because my German shepherd doesn't understand that a decorative tray on an ottoman is not target practice for her tail.

:: My cat also does not understand that when he sleeps on top of my cushions on my BRAND NEW COUCHES he leaves a layer of fur when he gets up.

:: My entryway depresses me every time I walk through it.

:: The other day, I was getting ready and I went to put some slip-on shoes on my feet. What I was greeted with was huge pile of drool.

:: My husband does the dishes after I cook, and almost every single time he asks complains that he is missing Tupperware and he just knows it's gotta be somewhere.... But he never looks for it.

:: I have such a terrible memory that I lose things all the time. The other night we went somewhere and when we got home, I made a mental note that I stuck my keys in my jacket pocket so I wouldn't forget them in the morning. The next morning, I check my jacket pocket and there are no keys. At this point I'm going nuts because I hate being late and when I finally thought to check my purse, there they were... Apparently, I was so worried I would forget about having them in my jacket pocket that I put them in my purse. But then I completely forgot what I had done. Bright side of all this? It seems that the mental pictures are, in fact, effective.

Social Media

I'm not sure if I ever mentioned it, but a few weeks ago my friends and I were talking about Facebook and about what happens when we see our Facebook 'friends' in real life.

Before I get into that, I want to mention that all of the people I have on my Facebook I either know in real life or are the writers of blogs that I follow. There is literally no one on my Facebook (besides the blogs/bloggers) that I have not met in person and had some sort of dealing with. It's true. I don't like just adding anyone because some of the things I post I wouldn't post if it was able to be viewed every where. (Like where I am or who I am with or gripes about politics or whatever.) It's my zone and just like Embrace the Crazy, I keep it real. I want to feel comfortable to post what I want without having to worry very much about it.

That said, my friends and I were discussing our friend list clean ups and the times that we have seen our FB friends in real life and what happened. We have each had experiences where someone added us on Facebook, and when we saw them in real life, they either ignored our smiles and/or passing hellos, or they gave us a dirty look or something.

First of all, I was happy that I wasn't alone in having this experience. I've mentioned before how awkward I am with putting myself out there and making friends... When I see someone in Target that I am not particularly close to (but communicate with on Facebook or even Twitter) and I manage to smile and say hi without tripping over my own feet and falling and chipping a tooth or honestly, just choking on fear, it's sort of a big deal. (At least for me it is. I'm one of those shy-sters [get it? Haha!] that hide behind their computer. I'm less awkward that way...) To know that my friends have gone through the same things makes me feel better.

It also astounds me.

The reason that it astounds me is because if a person adds me on Facebook, as sad as it is, they are asking permission to have access to my memories and personal information. It's knowing where I am or where I have been, how I feel about things, good and bad (eek!) pictures of me, what my religion is and where I stand on politics... A friend request, to me, is someone asking me if I would be okay with letting them in. Not just that, but they often have access to my friends because of tagged photos and status streams... They can even see a 'Friendship' between me and one of my friends.

I don't take that lightly. On every single social media outlet that I am a member of, I chose what I want to share and with whom. I talk about some things on Facebook that I don't mention here and I post blogs on here that I don't mention on my Facebook. It is at my discretion. Obviously, my blog is public, while my Facebook account is private. There is a reason for that. Facebook is real time and Embrace the Crazy is a journal for myself. I typically don't write where I've been until after the fact. It's safe. Plus, not many people read this blog outside of my bubble. Which is fine. This blog is not for anyone else. It's just for me. But the things I post on here I post because I don't mind sharing them with whomever decides to stumble upon this ol' blog.

I was explaining to Bryan that while I think using the word snubbed has a connotation to it that doesn't quite articulate my feelings, I suppose its close. I don't expect to be best friends with everyone on my Facebook, and I certainly don't think I have to strike up a conversation with them in public just because we are friends on Facebook. I do feel that if you make eye contact it would not be hard to smile to acknowledge them. Or so say a quick hello before going about your business. Really, I think my expectations are low. A hello has never hurt anyone.

After the few times that I had experienced this, I really started to wonder. If these people want to completely ignore my existence in public, what are their motives to being 'friends' on Facebook? My thoughts barreled down to genuine human curiosity and it's more negative counterpart - nosiness. There is a difference between being intrigued by someone and their life (some reality television/interviews) and general nosiness (like paparazzi fueled websites/magazines). Once I made the distinction, I started thinking about the few people that were anything but friendly in person and I resolved that, based on what I knew of them, they were people that were nosy. So, you know what I did? I deleted them.

At the risk of sounding as though my mindset was "You weren't nice to me in public so I defriended you! Take that!" I'll be honest. I don't want people that are nosy on my Facebook. Which is kind of funny when you think about it. I want people that are genuinely interested in knowing where I've gone in life and sharing funny quips with each other, or giving reviews of items or books or movies. I happen to think that other people are fascinating and I love knowing why people choose certain things or really, just their story in general. But I don't use the information they post against them. I don't ignore them in public or follow them around on Facebook saying rude and mean spirited things. (My husband has a 'friend' that does this on occasion. It's really sad.) And I'm not catty with the information they post. I feel like nosy people only want information to do bad things like gossip and I'm not down with that. So I deleted them and I don't feel bad about it at all.

Moving along, in yesterday's post, I mentioned that I went to dinner with my Mom and Larry on Saturday. While there, I noticed that an ex-boyfriend from my junior year or high school and his friend were there. I debated about interrupting their dinner to say hi. I also didn't want to seem like I just ignored them. I have my ex on my Facebook and we post on each others stuff sometimes - no big deal. But I immediately thought of the conversation I had with my friends.

So, I took all of my 40-pounds-heavier-than-I-was-in-high-school self and walked by their table and said hi, made some small chit-chat and left after a minute or two. It was easy going and not all that awkward.

Then I get to my Mom's and look in a mirror and realize that I forgot that I let my hair air-dry because it was raining and that I chose not to do my make up. I was also wearing slippers and a huge San Francisco sweatshirt. Sigh.

I just HAD to say hello while looking like a homeless person. Ugh.